The Restricted Section
by AmaliaIR
Summary: Draco Malfoy looks back on his encounters with Hermione Granger, from the small ones, to the life-changing ones. Sixth Year AU. Draco's POV. Happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this is the first Fic that I wrote, a few years back. It wasn't beta-ed and it's not perfect but it has a soft spot on my heart. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks!**

 **Chapter 1**

It all started with my 4th year at Hogwarts. I was getting ready for the stupid Yule Ball, only because Snape had been nagging about how it was mandatory. I wore all black, to show exactly how excited I felt for this ridiculous dance. I couldn't bring myself to care for the foreign students like everyone else did. Pansy was obsessing over Krum like every other girl, and all my male friends couldn't take their eyes off the Beauxbaton's princesses. Honestly, I could have easily asked one of them to the dance and have them at my feet, but I was being a good friend to Pansy. Poor Pansy, she had been rejected so many times, it only seemed right to take her, otherwise she would have cried all night in the Slytherin common room. I only hoped she wouldn't think this meant something more. She didn't strike my fancy. No one did, really. Every girl in Hogwarts was either too ugly, too boring, a mudblood, or a Hufflepuff. No thanks, I'd rather date an owl.

Finally, we went down to the Great Hall and waited for what seemed like hours for the girls to start showing up. Pansy was one of the firsts there, looking decent. She was wearing an emerald-green dress and had her hair down in too-perfect looking charm curls. She held my arm tightly and was enjoying people's attention as she smiled and then turned to me.

"You will not believe what Susan Bones is wearing. I saw her on the way down here, she looks like an old yellow cow,"

I chuckled and then we started to comment on student's outfits and dates. It was the most fun I was going to have at the dammed dance anyway, but it soon got boring and I stared away from the stairs. Mcgonagall was forcing everyone to enter when I heard one of the Patil sister's comment about someone looking beautiful. Too curious for my own good, I turned around and followed her gaze to the top of the stairs. She was dressed in blue, her curly hair tamed and cascading down her left shoulder, and her eyes shining with pride as she smiled brightly. _I can't believe is her,_ I thought, as I quickly looked away and focused on something else. Pansy had turned to her too, and was red with jealousy, as everyone was now staring at the new and improved Hermione Granger. I began walking towards the Great Hall, and pulling Pansy with me. All around, students couldn't stop commenting on the mudblood's makeover. _She doesn't look that different_ , I thought, _She just doesn't have a nest in her hair anymore, or those librarian, below the knee skirts._ But deep down I knew I was wrong. I felt too proud to admit she wasn't as ugly as I thought she was. And I hated her for it.

After that year ended, I felt more sober and angry than ever. When I saw Potter return to the tent with Diggory's dead body, my heart stopped in its tracks. He didn't even have to open his mouth for me to understand what had happened; it was all on his eyes. Pitch black, blown pupils and a sheer terror in them that could only be caused by facing him. Voldemort. I recognized that look because my father had worn it several times before. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, screaming from nightmares that tore him apart. Lucius didn't share much, but mother always told me his past as a Death Eater had been hard on him. When I peered into my father's trembling eyes, I knew, he was dreaming of the Dark Lord's face.

From that moment, I never doubted Potter for a second. I was sent home the very next day, per my mother's request, and when I stepped into the manor, Lucius turned to look at me and my stomach dropped so hard I thought I might vomit. My suspicions had been right.

After an insufferable summer of seeing Potter's eyes in my father's, I came back to Hogwarts and tried to return to my usual self, but it was impossible. Every night before going to bed I wondered if tomorrow will be the day _he_ would attack. I knew they were planning something, but I was considered too young to know the details. They thought someone might trick me or use me to get their information. I was aware that my parents would protect me, if anything were to happen, so that didn't worry me, but I was too scared to meet _him._ I didn't want to spend the rest of my nights waking up sweating from endless nightmares like Lucius. It's not like I didn't share his ideologies, I _guess_ I did, but for me they were never worth my sanity. I cared about myself way too much to risk everything, like so many Death Eaters had. To think that it had to be my destiny was haunting me from the inside.

And it showed.

My friends started to be wary around me. Some of them thought I was no fun anymore, and others were just freaked out by my gloominess. I felt more alone than ever.

That's why when Umbridge gave the opportunity to openly ruin and annoy other people's existences, I took the chance to try and return to my roots. I thought screwing with Potter and his friends would cheer me up and keep my mind occupied, and I was right. I started having fun again and the haunting ceased, and I even managed to seduce a Ravenclaw 6th year, scoring regular snogging sessions in broom cupboards here and there. I stopped obsessing over things.

That was, until _she_ began to anger me again.

We finally caught them and had them all secured in Umbridge's office. I was holding the Weasley girl, she wouldn't stop kicking around trying to break free, and I glanced across the room and locked eyes with Granger, who was being held down by Millicent Bulstrode, fisting her hair maliciously. She looked like she always did nowadays, curls wild, shirt buttoned to the top, hands on her hips…she wasn't even trying to run away. But she looked at me with eyes that sparkled with fire and passion. She was giving me the most resentful look I had ever witnessed. I felt my eyes burning under that stare and for a brief moment, I felt bad. She really and truly hated me. I quickly shook my head and tried to forget such nonsense. _So what if she hates me? She's nothing more than a boring old mudblood_ I thought, while still struggling to pin down the redhead girl. _Always following Potter around like a puppy_ I looked up again and she was still looking at me. She didn't blink; she didn't budge, just stood there like she was made out of rock. She turned around, eyes wide when Umbridge was going to crucio Potter…

"NO!" She yelled, breaking free from Bulstrode and standing next to Potter, her voice filling the room, and everyone fell quiet.

She told Umbridge about the secret weapon, burying her face on her hands and pathetically sobbing. She was faking it. I looked around at her friends and they were all as surprised as Umbridge was. I couldn't believe she was buying this silly act.

"I won't show _them,_ " Granger wept, turning her back to Umbridge and looking straight at me, her fiery eyes mocking me. I was astonished. _That sneaky little…_

"That's not for you to decide, Miss Granger," said Umbridge, interrupting my thoughts. I smiled, pleased that she wouldn't get away with it. Granger threw me one last nasty look and began sobbing again, facing the teacher. She was rather convincing, but she wasn't fooling me. She insulted Umbridge, making her large toad face burn red with anger. _Who does she think she is? A Slytherin?_ I watched the dramatic show in disbelief.

"Fine," Umbridge announced.

She had manipulated her.

"I think someone from the squad should come too, professor," I barked in, letting go of my prisoner and standing next to her. But it was of no use. They were already leaving, with Potter as well. Right before exiting the classroom behind Umbridge, Granger turned around, her lips curing up at the edges, shooting me one of the best winning smirks I've seen in my entire life.

That moment I realized that, not only she wasn't as ugly as I thought, but she wasn't as boring either.

That moment, she reminded me of myself. And I hated her for it.

I stared at the door in awe, my mouth gaping and body immobile, until that insufferable Weasley girl punched me in the stomach.

If I thought last summer was miserable, the one before our 6th year was a living hell. Every waking second I considered running away or killing myself. Which would have been pretty much the same thing. If I even attempted to leave, I would be dead instantly.

Granger was completely erased from my mind during that time. I only remembered her once: As I was walking out of my room, and down the stairs, on my way to meet _him._

I hadn't slept for 2 weeks since the day my mother told me I would be initiated. At first, fear consumed me. I was a shivering mass of tears. As the days went by, I had to get used to the sickening feeling in my stomach. After all, this had always been my destiny. Without my father, I needed to carry on and fix the mess he had made. I suffered for days, trying to build up the courage, and as I strolled down the corridor, only seconds away from _his_ face, and _her_ courageous eyes popped into my head. It was as if my brain was telling me I should be more like her. I stopped and held onto the wall next to me. I breathed in deeply, holding back tears, and then I tried to make my best impression of her strong gaze and fearless pose, and marched on.

The next thing I remember was feeling as if my soul was being looked at, and my mind searched by a pair of deadly, red eyes. It was extremely difficult to maintain eye contact and then I fell to my knees. A sharp pain was burning my forearm. He grabbed me without staring away and laughed as the dark mark slowly materialized in my white skin.

After the macabre ceremony (marking me, as well as 7 other people) we sat around the table. He finally spoke. His voice was forever engraved in my ears, and my head started to throb painfully as he began to explain my duty. It was clear and precise.

Kill Dumbledore.

I refused to look at him again as I nodded fervently. My mother squeezed my arm so hard, her sharp fingernails dug into my skin, and her face went two shades lighter, which I didn't think was even possible. Before he left, I dared to look up again one last time and almost passed out as his corrupted form flew unsupported, away from the house.

It was already September 1st when I got used to the nightmares.

What I first noticed as I walked into Hogwarts, was how monumentally unimportant everything felt to me. It wasn't just that I was sad or gloomy. Everyone in the school could drop dead in that exact moment and I wouldn't have budged. It would actually make everything easier for me.

That's why that year I never even tried to go back to my normal self. I felt poison in my left forearm, slowly spreading through my body and forever changing me. It was all psychological, I knew, but it was unstoppable.

I spent all my free time in the Room of Requirement and the Library, trying to learn all I could about the vanishing cabinets and cursed objects. It was the middle of October when _she_ ran into me in the restricted section. It was dark, only the light from our wands illuminating our faces. She froze up completely when she saw me.

"Malfoy," she exclaimed. Surprised, yet not angry. I merely glanced her way and then began searching the books shelves.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, walking closer to me.

"That's hardly any of your business, Granger," I heard her blow air out of her nose and walk even closer.

"It is my business when you're wandering around the Dark Arts section in the middle of the night, probably plotting to destroy the whole school," She ranted and I scoffed.

"Really, Granger, I couldn't care less about this pathetic school. It's not worth my time to plan its destruction," She was right by me now.

"I don't believe you," She exclaimed in her usual bossy tone and I shrugged. I turned to my left to see her, her face about 10 inches away from mine, but much lower. I never noted how much taller I was than her. Her eyes were as daring as ever, skin flawless, and curls framing her heart-shaped face. I had to admit to myself that she didn't look half bad. Compared to me, she looked great. I was bony, depressed and pale. She was healthy and full of passion. I loathed her for having such an easy life that she could afford to eat, sleep and annoy me like we were in 3rd year again.

"I don't have time for this nonsense," I complained and walked further into the library. She followed, but didn't say anything else. I scanned the books carefully and she pretended to do so too, but was really trying to read the titles of the ones I was taking. After a while, I had three books in my hands and she had none, too busy sticking her nose over my shoulder. Finally, I had enough. I turned around abruptly, startling her, our bodies almost pressed together, I could feel her breath in my neck. I looked down and she looked up. Her cheeks were beginning to redden and I sighed deeply.

"I _really_ don't have time for this, Granger." I grabbed the last book and headed out of the library. She didn't follow.

That night I dreamt of her. We were trapped in the library, her tiny body following me around everywhere I went, and I just had to get out and complete my task. I could feel her warm breathing over my whole body, making me shiver. Her front was pressed tightly to my back. I felt her breasts and hips against me and suddenly, I looked down and witnessed my pants, tight with an erection that made me gasp. When I turned to face her, she was wearing the cursed necklace. Horrified, I tried to save her, but I couldn't touch her. There was a barrier between us, and finally, she dropped to the floor and I caught her. I got to smell her wild hair, filling me with strawberry and vanilla, and touch her unblemished skin and all of the sudden, I woke up in shock. I was breathing fast and restless. I looked around to make sure everything was just a dream and sighed relieved. I fell back into my pillow and closed my eyes, only to discover that my erection was very much alive and very much real. I smiled softly and dozed off.

That was the first time in over 3 months that I didn't dream about Voldemort.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The next morning I saw her eating at the Gryffindor table and felt my insides tightened at the memory of my dream. _I can't be developing a crush for that bushy mess of hair._ I told myself. _No, it was just a dream. A very twisted and hot dream…_ I shook my head and sat down alone at the edge of the table. I usually ate by myself now, as I was no fun in any sort of conversation. I didn't care about Quidditch, or homework, or student's gossip. My mind was constantly going over the details of my plan, remembering tips from the books I'd chosen and, as of today, imagining Granger's fit body pressed against my own in a small broom cupboard.

 _No._ _Stop that. These kinds of thoughts aren't helpful. A distraction is the last thing you need right now. Especially if it's coming from someone like her._ I looked up from my porridge and saw her laughing loudly with Potter and Weasley. It made me feel weirdly warm inside. But then the warmth transformed into something else. I felt jealousy. I couldn't be like that. Ever again, probably. Just enjoying life's simple pleasures. I started to get angry and frustrated at her happiness, and then she looked at me. Her laughter died off and she seemed scared, frightened, even. I relaxed my frown and in her face formed something that I loathed even more than happiness.

Pity.

I grabbed my things and stormed away from the Great Hall and into the Room of Requirement. I sat in front of the cabinet and grabbed a book from my bag. I flipped to page 67 and recited the enchantment that was printed on the page. I tried to concentrate, closing my eyes and pointing my wand at the cabinet, slowly repeating the magical chant. Flashes of that night at the library began to pop in my brain, followed by images of that dream and of her _body._ I tried to stop them, but I saw her arms, legs, felt her breathing, heard her laugh and…

 _Fuck!_ I mumbled to myself as I dropped my wand in frustration and hung my head. I had another erection again. I took a deep breath, trying to make it go away. But it was really insisting. After all, I had spent 16 years of my life without having sex, and almost a year without so much as a kiss. Last year that Ravenclaw girl gave me a handjob the last time we met, but that was about it. I couldn't even remember the last time I jerked off. I guess when you're fearful and paranoid, even the most basic needs come in second. But now my body was demanding something and I couldn't ignore it.

 _Alright, Granger, there's only one way to settle this._

That was the moment I decided I would seduce Hermione Granger. But before that operation commenced, I moaned in relief as I grabbed my boner through my pants and squeezed lightly.

For the next few months my routine consisted of reading, endless nights in the Room of Requirement (I was really close to figuring out how to make the cabinets work) and eye-fucking Hermione Granger every chance I got. I didn't eat, I barely slept, I started getting more and more anxious as the day of my assignment approached. I felt like the outline of the man I once was. But at least my crumbling appearance didn't stop me from luring Granger.

At first she was scared of my constant staring. Then she got angry, and slowly but surely she started to blush with red intensity as I walked past her in the halls, eyeing her body up and down and subtly biting my lip and I carried on. She stood there, clutching her books tightly and with intrigue in her eyes. After that, I began to lightly brush against her whenever she was close. It seemed like an accident to everyone else, but I made sure she knew, that kindly passing my hand through her back, or delicately pushing my leg against hers, or subtly grasping her hair, meant something.

It was the most fun I've had in the whole school year. My casual encounters with her, even though were as brief as seconds, kept me sane for the rest of my dark tasks. It was like messing with her all over again, but in a whole new level. I was fucking up with her head in the most faint, almost cruel way.

 _Hey, if I'm going to seduce the mudblood, at least I'm going to do it right._

That thought surprised me. I hadn't referred to her as a mudblood in a very long time. Like I'd completely forgotten she was one. I guess my mind couldn't handle the fact that I felt attraction for someone like her. I thought of my parents and felt guilty. _Lucius will surely disinherit me._ I smiled to myself because, that wouldn't actually be so bad. _Maybe I could use it as a chance to get away from all of this…_ I was mindlessly walking towards the library and my mother's face flashed before my eyes. I stopped walking. _No, I can't…I can't leave her all alone. They'll torture her if I don't succeed._ I sighed and continued my way. It was getting dark and I needed to hurry if I wanted to get to the library before someone caught me...Filch, a teacher, or a…

Granger appeared from behind a corner and blocked my way, her usual pose with hands resting on her hips and head held high.

A prefect.

"Where exactly are you headed alone at these hours, Mr. Malfoy?"

I rolled my eyes at her "Mister? I personally prefer _Sir._ It's a little bit sexier, don't you think?" I walked past her, brushing our shoulders together and she immediately followed.

"You're going to the library, aren't you?" She asked, trying to keep my pace.

"Very perceptive," I didn't look at her, and I knew it was driving her mad.

"And you're going to the restricted section, right? You know it's already too late to go to the library, and I don't believe you have a password to go into that particular section," Her shrill voice and pushy tone made my nerves twitch.

"Malfoy, I'm talking to you!" She grabbed my wrist to make me stop and looked at me furiously. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling, her cheeks were red with anger and her jaw was clenched tight. Her voice might by annoying but she looked pretty hot when she was upset. I stared at her for nearly 30 seconds, her expression expectant, her hand still on my wrist.

"Do _you_ have the password for the restricted section?" I asked calmly.

"Well, yes, but that's not the point," She stammered.

"Then come on, before someone sees us," I pulled her behind me, wishing she wouldn't protest any further, but that was obviously impossible.

"I'm supposed to be the one stopping you! You ought to respect me, I'm a prefect!" She almost yelled, still walking behind me.

"Then why haven't you turned me in?" She let go of my wrist when I stopped. "Why haven't you gone fetch Mcgonagall or Snape? Why are you _still_ here with me?"

She seemed at a loss of words. Her eyes surveyed my face cautiously, and then she licked her lips. I hated how beautiful she looked.

"Alright then," I grumbled and we marched towards the entrance of the library. We quietly walked past the bookshelves and then faced the door that lead to the restricted section.

She eyed me one last time before sighing loudly and whispering "Porvidium". The door opened with a creak and we both stepped in.

"That's it? _Forbidden_ in latin? Madam Pince is not a very creative woman," I teased and she lightly hit me in the shoulder.

"Shut up. How did you get in last time, anyway?"

I shrugged "I just waited until someone else opened the door and snuck in behind them," I stated and she nodded.

"I guess that's why you're a Slytherin,"

I ignored her comment and mumbled "Lumos" going directly to the last bookshelf on the left, scanning the covers with my wand. She cast the light with her wand as well and moved closer.

"Are you planning on telling me why are you reading about…" She stood next to me and read the spine of the book closest to my wand "The Ancient Art Of Vanishing Acts?"

"Are _you_ planning on telling me why you agreed to violate school rules with me instead of delivering me to the authorities?"

She scoffed in disbelief "Please, I'm just here to keep an eye on your evil plans,"

"Sure," I mocked and flipped through the book she mentioned. She just turned on her heel and walked to the next bookshelf.

Like a moth to the light, she started to look interestedly at the books around her, her eyes big with curiosity. She picked up one and kept it under her arm, without looking away from the others. I silently noted how the tips of her long hair tickled the soft curve of her back as the moved. How she mouthed the words she was reading to herself. How her heels raised from the floor when she was trying to reach a book a little higher, the smooth skin of her stomach showing slightly below her sweater. I couldn't look away.

She noticed I was staring and cleared her throat. I turned away quickly and resumed to my book.

"Malfoy…" She murmured, drawing closer again "Why have you been doing that?"

"Doing what?" I said, without looking at her.

"You know what. That…staring. Whenever I turn around there you are, eyeing me in a very…strange way," Her voice was quiet and delicate now, I liked it like this.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Granger. But, just for the sake of argument…how does it make you feel?" My eyes were still on the book.

She fidgeted "I don't know. No one's ever looked at me like that,"

"Really? Not even Krum? I figured your boyfriend might make it a point to look at you from time to time…" From the corner of my eye I noticed she was staring at her shoes.

"Krum wasn't my boyfriend. We just went to the dance together,"

I chuckled lightly. "What? What's so funny?" She barked.

"Nothing really. I was just thinking…If Krum wasn't dating you, chances are you've never kissed anyone," I made sure to look at her this time, to witness the irritation bubbling up in her face.

"For your information, I did kiss Krum!" She stomped her foot on the floor. How cute.

"The immaculate Hermione Granger kissing a boy that wasn't her boyfriend? Color me impressed," I smiled at her and she blushed.

"Well it only happened once, after the dance. And I'm not immaculate,"

"So that's your history? One kiss and holding hands with the Bulgarian jock? I would have thought Potter would have tried to make a move on you. It's a little sad, Granger,"

She punched me again in the arm, but I didn't flinch. "Harry's like my brother; I wouldn't _want_ him to make a move on me. And I think I have a pretty good chance with Ronald, thank you very much,"

I laughed way too loudly "Weasley? Are you serious? Come on Granger, let me set you up, I'm sure we can find you someone better than carrot-head," She gritted her teeth, her eyes burning with anger, and then she turned away rapidly and stormed off the library without another word. I stood there for a moment, watching her leave, and then I picked up my book and bag, and hurried to my room as fast and silently as I could, for I knew Filch would come in any second now.

She proceeded to ignore me for weeks. It's not like she used to talk to me before, but at least she acknowledged my presence and retuned my gaze. Now she constantly had her back turned to me and sat as far as possible in any classes we shared. I cursed to myself in frustration. I'm supposed to be ignoring _her_ so she'd come around. No one can resist being ignored.

Not even me.

But who could blame me for making fun of her? It wasn't even of her, really, it was of Weasley. He was easily the most pathetic guy in the whole year, maybe the whole school. He had literally nothing that I didn't have. Except, perhaps, the liberty to go meandering about, without the Dark Lord's burden on his back.

After the Katie Bell fiasco, I put my guard up and starting being more careful. Granger had already seen me in the Dark Arts section, and I was sure Potter suspected something. On top of that, the cabinet started failing again and I had no idea what was wrong, and now I had to find a new way to execute my plan. Before leaving for Hogwarts, my mother had suggested poison. I thought it was a bit ordinary and crude, but I was out of ideas. I found out in the Three Broomsticks that Dumbledore's favorite drink was mead. The only problem was that I didn't know how to brew any kind of poison. I needed to get to the library again.

I was sitting on the stairs next to the library; trying to figure out how to get in there now that it was too late for anybody who could have the password. I had tried "Porvidium" but apparently they changed it. Suddenly, a loud thud made me snap my head behind me. Ron Weasley was being pushed against the wall at the top of the stairs by Lavender Brown, snogging intensely, almost devouring their faces. They were so caught up in each other, they didn't notice my presence. I felt like gagging, but then a mischievous smile appeared on my face.

"Oh," Lavender exclaimed as she realized I was there. She blushed slightly. "Sorry…come on Ron," She tugged him by the shirt and they descended the stairs, disappearing in the hallway. I stood up and decisively climbed up the steps, two at the time and stopping as I reached the 4th floor. I spotted the girl's bathroom and as I got closer, I started to hear small sobs. I looked around the empty corridor before stepping inside the bathroom.

"Granger?" I asked softly

"Go away," She replied.

 _I knew it._

"I won't,"

She wept in frustration "Please, just leave me alone,"

"Why?" I asked, walking further into the bathroom.

"Because…you only make things worse," She said between tears

I sighed "I promise I won't make fun of you. Or of anything. I…I just want to help," I stammered as I stood before the stall she was locked in. I felt weird saying those words. I kept repeating to myself that I was only doing this because it improved my chances of shagging her. _Yes, it's the perfect occasion for rebound sex._

"Help? Why would _you_ want to help _me?_ What's in it for you?"

I was quiet for a while. Her sobbing ceased. "I'm sorry about the other day, alright? I didn't want to upset you, I was just having a laugh,"

"Well, you had a very good reason to laugh, because obviously, me and Ron and just a big joke," she spat, and then blew her nose.

"Weasley's an idiot. Honestly, I don't understand how he can fancy her of all people. She believes in _Divination_ for Merlin's sake!" I hopped and sat in the space between the sinks, my feet dangling above the floor. And then she laughed. A quiet, small, tiny laugh.

"I know…I still don't understand what he sees in her…" Her voice dropped. I needed to make her laugh again.

"Someone who shares his same mental capacity, apparently," She laughed, a little louder now, and I smiled. I liked that sound, especially if the reason behind it was offending Weasley.

"I didn't think insulting them would make me feel better. All Harry and Ginny did was pat my back and tell me it'll be alright,"

"That's why everybody needs a Slytherin in their life. We don't do that comforting rubbish. You just need to hear the truth, no sugar coating,"

"And what is the truth then?"

"That Weasley is an idiot and you're way better than that Lavender girl. It doesn't matter if he's your friend or not, he's still an idiot and crying won't solve anything," I stated, _matter-of-factly._

 _She was quiet for a long time._

 _"Just come out, Hermione," I blurted out._

 _She slowly opened the door. "Did you just…call me Hermione?" She asked and I froze. I did. It just slipped out really. It didn't mean anything._

 _"Well that's your name, isn't it?" I smirked and she nodded, rubbing her eyes._

 _"What time is it?" She said, stretching her arms overhead._

 _I looked at my watch "Ten past eleven," I proclaimed and she gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth, eyes wide._

 _"I lost track of time with all this drama and I forgot to finish my Ancient Runes essay! It's due tomorrow!" Her voice was shrill again._

"We could go to the library," I offered.

"It's too late for that…I should be in bed by now," She groaned.

"Are you sleepy?" I asked, hopping off and walking towards her.

"Not really but,"

"Me neither, come on…I'll help you. I did my essay this morning, so my brain is still fresh with the information," She seemed to contemplate it for a moment, biting her lip with a fearful frown. She finally relaxed her face and dropped her shoulders.

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

We picked up our bags and got to the library. I helped her find the right books for the essay. We sat down at one of the tables and she began rummaging through the books as I placed our wands in an empty flower base, to illuminate us. As I pointed at pages I remembered using for my essay that morning, my mind went back to that cabinet and the poison. I still needed to get to the restricted section.

She was furiously writing on the parchment, concentrated. "Hey, Hermione…"

"Yes?" She replied, not looking at me.

"Would you happen to know if they changed the password to the restricted section?" It wasn't too subtle, but I didn't know how else to ask.

"Of course, they change it every week," she stated, not stopping her writing and reading.

"Right…" I trailed off "So, do you happen to know what the new one is?" This time her head snapped up to face me.

"I'm not going to tell you,"

"Why not?" She returned to her essay.

"Because, I don't know what you're doing with those books, but it can't be anything good, and I'm not going to be responsible for helping you with it,"

"Would you stop that? I'm not planning anything!" My voice grew a little louder "You've seen me all year; I've been nothing but civil and quiet. I haven't even teased Potter all these months. You use the restricted section and no one accuses you of devising an evil plot," She was staring at me with big, startled, brown eyes. "I don't know what you think I am, Hermione, but this isn't it. If you don't want to give me the password, that's fine, but at least stop assuming you understand everything about me and my actions, because that couldn't be further from the truth,"

She looked back at her essay and murmured "I'm sorry… It's just, with your past and everything; you understand why it's difficult for me to trust you, right?" She sighed "But you _have_ been awfully civilized since the beginning of the year. I guess you've grown. Alright. It's _index verborum,_ **"** She finally sighed and I nodded

"Thank you. You really don't have to worry about me, Hermione. You know what? I'll even show you the book I want from there,"

I took my wand from the vase, stood up and ran to the door at the end of the library.

"Index verborum" I said firmly and the door opened. I quickly went through the bookshelf and picked up the first book I saw about poison, and then "Ancient Magical Repair" I pointed my wand at both books and whispered "Reducto" until the fit in the palm of my hand. I quickly shoved them in a pocket inside my robes and turned around to look at the other books. I spotted a small one near the bottom shelf. _Perfect,_ I thought and ran out of there, closing the door behind me.

I placed the small book on top of her essay, which she didn't seem to appreciate too much.

"Dark Music: Origins and History," She read and looked up at me with a frown.

"Dark music? You do realize those were failed attempts from dark wizards to charm and control muggles with their magical instruments and melodies? It hasn't been done in over 500 years,"

"I _know_ and as I said, I'm not trying to _do_ anything, I'm just curious. You're not the only one who likes to read, Granger," I sat down next to her again.

"So we're back to Granger, uh?" She smirked.

"Sorry, it's the habit, Hermione," I flashed her a smile "Now, where were we?" I turned to the books in front of me and read a paragraph our loud for her. We continued reading and she writing, stopping eventually to discuss a particular idea about the essay with me. After a while I felt my eyes getting heavy…

"Malfoy… Hey, Malfoy," her soft voice resonated in my ear. I opened my eyes and realized I had fallen asleep.

"Fuck…" I murmured and she giggled "What time is it?" I ruffled my hands through my hair and straightened up.

"Around one in the morning…I finished my essay!" she held it up and smiled proudly.

"I knew you would…are you satisfied with it?" I stretched and she nodded, starting to pick up her things. I did too.

"Thanks for your help, Draco," Her smile was genuine, I could tell.

I smirked "Draco? Are you flirting with me?" I grabbed my back and we started to leave.

"Yeah right… like that could possibly happen… Hey, don't forget your book," She pointed behind me, I had left the music book on the table.

"Oh, right," I said as I returned for it, and stuffed it in my bag. "Don't be so incredulous, Hermione. You let me cheer you up, let me help you with your homework, gave me the secret password…I think you're starting to like me," I winked at her as we exited the library.

She rolled her eyes "I'm merely realizing you're not as bad as you used to be,"

We walked in silence for a little while until we reached the hallway dividing her tower and my dungeons. I felt the beginning of a metaphor forming in my brain, but I was too tired to complete it. We turned to face each other; she had a lazy smile, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

"Me too," I said and leaned in to plant a kiss on her right cheek. It was soft, but not overly friendly. I made sure my lips lingered on the surface of her skin for a moment, just enough for her to feel my breath on her ear. I straightened and noticed the little hairs on her arms and the back of her neck has stood up. She was glued to the spot, holding her breath and looking like she'd seen a ghost.

"Goodnight, Hermione," I left while she was still in shock.

When I was a good 20 feet away, I heard her say "Goodnight," and then her little steps echoing behind me, going the other direction. I went to bed with a smirk.

It was a relief being on her good side again, although I couldn't really say why. It just made things easier, and Granger was so simple to manipulate. I guess that's why she's a bloody Gryffindor.

The poison book from the restricted section proved to be particularly helpful. The cabinets were not ready yet, but I was able to brew the poison using Snape's storage and now the mead was ready to be delivered. The bewitching of Madame Rosmerta was what made my life easier, and I had to thank my father for that. He told me that idea the last time I went to visit him at Azkaban, it was the first and last thing he told me, like he couldn't stop obsessing over this plan that, he was sure, would make me successful in the Dark Lord's eyes. His terrifying, red eyes.

At first I wasn't sure I could manage the Imperius Curse, but after an awful amount of practice with spiders and other small insects, I moved onto larger animals, and before I knew it, I was in Hogsmade, controlling Madame Rosmerta like a puppet. Now it felt like second nature. The feeling of controlling another human being was one that I could not explain. Power tingled in my fingertips every time I did it, my heart raced wildly and my nerves creep up on me. Somehow I catch myself worrying about liking that feeling too much.

I had casual encounters with Granger, silently greeting each other in class, smiling politely when we crossed paths on the halls, or briefly locking eyes while eating at the Great Hall. But neither tried to talk to the other.

That is, until the 14th of February. I was sitting in the deserted library, finishing up some late homework and hiding away from all the pink, heart-shaped rubbish that invaded the castle that miserable day, and from the corner of my eye I could make out her big-haired frame appear across from me. I slowly raised my eyes form the parchment, scanning the top of her thighs, her stomach, her chest and finally her face. She was flustered, eyes sparkling with anger. Since no one spoke for about a minute, I decided to break the silence.

"Hermione, what,"

"Doesn't Lavender Brown have messier hair than I do?" She interrupted me.

I frowned. "What?"

"Her hair. I just had to sit through an entire breakfast of Ron complementing her _lovely_ curls, and he's always called my hair _frizzy_ , which I find ridiculous, and it's not like I want him complementing my hair but at least,"

"Granger, breathe and get a grip of yourself!" I cut her off and she froze up at my words, then sighed and sat down at the chair across from me.

"Sorry. I just couldn't take it anymore, they're all so ridiculous right now,"

I smirked. "I wouldn't take you for the kind of person who cares about such trivialities,"

She flushed and looked down at her fidgeting hands "I…I don't," She hesitated. "I just felt like I had to vent and bad-mouth them a little. I can't do that with anyone,"

I raised my eyebrows at her. "You want to talk shit about your friends with _me?"_

She shrugged and looked at me "It's not like that exactly, but I wouldn't mind speaking with someone who won't lie to make me feel better," Her cheeks were impossibly red. I scoffed and chuckled a little.

"Well, you're right about that,"

"I never imagined I'll be referring to you as the honest one," She smiled.

"Is about time you realized that. Aren't you afraid to be seen with me? Surely the Gryffindor House will disown you,"

"Everybody's down at Hogsmade anyway," She leaned forward to look at my parchment. "What are you doing?"

"Snape's essay. That bloody lunatic must be getting delirious from inhaling so many students' failed potions. I've barely managed to write 15 inches and I have to do 30 more," I glanced back down at my homework.

She frowned. "I thought you loved Snape,"

"I don't love anyone who makes me write unnecessarily long essays when there are more important things to do," I stated and she tilted her head to the side.

"Like what?" er words triggered my mind to remember the cabinet. Then Dumbledore's face appeared before my eyes, as well as Voldemort's words ringing in my ears. I realized I was quiet for a long time and regained my composure.

"Nothing. Just…whatever but this," I trailed off. She looked at me suspiciously but decided to accept it.

She ended up helping me with the essay while ranting about her wanker friends and their girlfriends as I nodded along. I was exhausted from hearing so much about Potter and Weasley, but decided it was better not to piss her off again. I absentmindedly stared at her mouth while she talked, and all sorts of dirty thoughts invaded my head.

"And I used to be able to talk to Ginny about this but now she won't even hear,"

"Granger!" I barked, snapping out of my trance and making her flinch "You need to stop caring so much about what these losers say and do and think. It's all really pathetic," The words spilled before I thought them through. She giggled and shook her head.

"What's so funny?" I asked skeptically.

"I was wondering when you'd snap and return to your usual Malfoy way. You hadn't mocked me for nearly an hour,"

"I wasn't mocking _you_ exactly," I said defensively.

"It's okay. You're too weird when you play nice, anyway,"

I stared at her in confusion. Could she really see that I was putting up an act? And if so, what would she think were my reasons?

"All I'm saying, Granger, is that you need to get yourself a life. Go out from the library once in a while, meet some new people, maybe shag someone while you're at it," She reacted exactly as I expected her to. She stiffened and pursed her lips together.

"You're the one to talk," She finally said "Confined in the library on Valentine 's Day, and I rarely see you with anyone, you just walk around alone all the time,"

I shrugged "I have a life, it just happens to be more private. And I just don't _do_ Valentine's Day. I don't even need to tell you it's not my thing, Granger,"

She cocked her eyebrows. "You call me Granger when you're patronizing me,"

"Sometimes you need to be called Granger to see some sense," She rolled her eyes at my words and stood up.

"Your essay's nearly finished. I'll go get the final book so you can write the conclusion," She turned on her heal but my words stopped her.

"Hermione," She turned to look at me "Why are you helping me with this?"

She seemed to think it over for a second. "I don't have anything better to do, Malfoy. Why else would I help _you?_ " She smirked and continued her way down the corridor of the library.

I looked around. The place was still completely empty. I drummed my fingers on the table.

 _This is it. This is my chance._

I followed her quietly and saw her scanning a bookshelf and reaching for the top shelf, failing to get the book she wanted. I sneaked up behind her until I was mere inches away from the back of her head, her natural curls grazing my chest.

"You do realize you have a wand, right?" My voice made her jump and stare around at me with big eyes.

"Merlin, you scared me to death. Don't pull that Slytherin nonsense with me," She heaved with her hands on her chest. She was trapped between the shelf and my body. I reached over her and grabbed the book without taking my eyes away from her, and placed it in her hands. She took it restlessly, as she shifted her weight with a nervous smile.

"Thanks," She breathed. I could feel her warmth radiating and engulfing me. "You have a wand too,"

"I know," I asserted, voice low. "Some things are best done the physical way,"

Her eyes darkened and pupils expanded, staring at me with intrigue and a bit of fear. All I had to do was lean down and I'd be kissing her. Her lips slightly parted. She wanted this.

It was enough invitation for me and I pressed our mouths together, feeling her gasp in my own. I kissed her slowly but with purpose, and it took about 10 seconds for her to react and kiss me back. I placed one hand on her waist and the other cupped her face. My tongue darted over her bottom lip and she shivered, making me shiver as well, until her tongue met mine, softly stroking each other.

The kiss lasted for a whole minute that felt like an eternity, but I decided to pull back, leave her wanting more.

She was blushing violently and clutching the book tightly against her, looking at her feet.

The air was thick, and I managed to mentally battle the growing bulge in my pants and make it subside. An uncomfortable silence fell between us.

"So…" She whispered.

"Come on, everybody should be returning soon, and we have an essay to finish," I stated and she shot her head up, eyeing me with surprise. I smiled lazily and walked towards the tables, hearing her steps following.

We finished my homework without mentioning the previous occurrence, and just as the growing roar of voices and footsteps invaded the halls outside, she picked up her things and stood up.

"Thanks for the help," I offered and she nodded.

"Thanks for…" She shifted uncomfortably, as if remembering something and blushed "Listening to me," I nodded.

"Don't mention it. Now get out of here before Weasley sees you being nice to me and has a heart attack. Although it'd be priceless," She rolled her eyes again.

"See you around, Draco," I nodded in response and she left, stepping on some heart-shaped confetti as she exited the library.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

My forbidden encounters with Granger made for restless nights. After our kiss, I had a series of dreams and nightmares, filled with images of her, wandering around empty halls and calling my name; mixed with flashes of my father. I was desperately trying to hide my kiss with Granger from him, but he saw it through my eyes, invading my brain. His face merged with the Dark Lord's, his words tormenting me until I passed out: "Mudblood. Filthy. Blood traitor. Punish." And I woke up at 5 in the morning, the mark in my arm tingling and my head spinning.

I couldn't go back to sleep, so I slipped out of my pajamas and put on my winter robes. I felt rage pounding in my veins, confusion boiling in my gut, as I stormed out of the room and into the empty hall. The castle was quiet with peacefulness, but my mind was a roaring mess that only calmed down when I pushed the door open and the sharp, cold breeze hit me square in the chest. It left me breathless, but somehow it helped clean the disturbed images that lingered from my nightmare.

I walked to the nearest bench and with a flick of my wand, cleared the thin white layer of snow covering it. I sat down, absolutely freezing to my bones, but I hadn't been outside for months. There was no business for me out here, all my priorities belonging to the damned Room of Requirement. I glanced over the trees, catching the Quidditch Pitch in the distance, realizing how much I missed playing. It suddenly hit me all the fun that I was _not_ having, and my rage returned with full force. I caught myself cursing Lucius, and all the fucking pain and struggle he had put me through. I clenched my fists tightly and buried my feet deep in the snow, so hot with fury I thought I might melt it all. I wanted to get back at him for screwing up my life to the point of no return, without any kind of consideration towards my opinion.

Of course, my opinion was now completely different from whatever he thought it was; the fear from the beginning of this year's events made me stop caring about absolutely everything. I didn't give a shit about sides, loyalty, ideologies, obligations, or even about Lucius' well-being, because it was ripping me and my mother apart. I couldn't walk away from this now, but I wanted revenge.

My yearning for _her_ intensified exponentially. I felt like an animal of instincts; I just wanted to take her and cure my desperation, feel pleasure again, feel something besides fear before it was too late.

I usually stopped my mind from thinking too much about her, feeling guilty or silly for doing so, but in that moment I let it run free, allowing the Granger from my imagination to take me and soothe my anger, her lovely body covering mine, her alluring scent intoxicating me, and the clandestine nature of her presence overwhelming my senses. She was the only thing keeping me relatively sane, or at least, as sane as I was ever going to be in those circumstances.

I stayed on that bench until the sun was hitting the back of my head and I could feel the castle waking up. I wondered if it was a consequence of all the magic or just my imagination, but the magnificent structure felt alive, breathing, existing. I enjoyed the last seconds of calmness before returning back inside, and heading directly to the Room of Requirement, not even thinking about breakfast…the sight of Granger there could have distracted me for the rest of the day.

Still…when I entered the door on the seventh floor, I swear I could smell her in the air.

The next few days I had a hard time seeing her. I barely met her in our common lessons, sometimes turning around and smiling slightly at me, but then she disappeared for the rest of the day, not even showing up for lunch. My mind raced with the possibilities that had led her to avoid me. Maybe she was upset with me again. Maybe she was being too careful about not being seen with me. Maybe she wasn't as hooked as I thought she was.

I kicked myself metaphorically for getting my hopes up. Of course she wasn't as interested as I thought. She wasn't the type of girl to get involved with someone else without any kind of commitment, and much less with a Slytherin. She was too good for that.

I marched towards the library just a few hours before dark. If I was lucky, I could still catch a teacher entering the restricted section and sneak in. Pretty much every book referencing the vanishing cabinets had been completely useless. I knew there had to be more on repairing magical artifacts in that section. I needed to forget about _her_ and focus on my task to get it over with. Perhaps doing it earlier than expected would get me some kind of mercy.

 _Perhaps she knows I only want to shag her._

I surprised myself at how disappointed I actually felt, and contemplated an utterly ridiculous notion.

 _Do I only want to shag her?_

I shook my head. Of course I did. It couldn't be anything but. What else was there? Get married and have kids with Granger? No.

I hid behind a bookshelf just outside of the restricted section. I patiently waited for the footsteps that could lead me inside, distracted by my own thoughts.

I only desired her perfect little body. I wanted sweat and moans and ecstasy because I needed fun and release. I wanted to make her…

A pair of hands landed heavily on my shoulders and I immediately rose to my feet with my wand at the ready, pointing towards the person that had startled me. My heart was caught in my throat.

Granger was standing there, looking half amused and half scared, holding up her hands next to her head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," She giggled "I couldn't resist," she explained and I lowered my wand and sighed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and she stepped closer.

"I need some books. I'm guessing you do too, or you wouldn't be here crouching to the size of a house elf," She smiled but I narrowed my eyes dangerously.

"Don't you compare me to a house elf," I spat and she shrugged.

"They're not so bad, you know?" She walked to the front of the door and whispered "Agnitio". With a slow creak the door opened and she stepped inside.

"Aren't you coming?" She asked, an eyebrow raised.

I stood still for a second. Everything was happening so fast, but I couldn't miss this chance, so I followed her and the door closed behind me.

"You will simply let me in this time? No annoying whining? No lecture about how I'm an evil monster plotting the destruction of the universe?" I inquired while she casually walked towards one of the shelves and inspected it.

"As you pointed out the other day, you aren't so bad now, right Malfoy?"

 _Right_

"Well, I'm glad you're finally seeing some sense. What are you looking for?" I stepped next to her, eyeing the same books she did.

"Something to prove Ron and Harry wrong," she said and I nodded.

"That shouldn't be hard to do," I smirked and she rolled her eyes.

"And what would you be needing this time?" She turned to face me, her eyes scanning mine curiously, as if trying to read my features and discover something. I imagined pinning her hands behind her back and teasing her until she screamed my name.

"I'm not certain yet, I'll need to look around and find something entertaining," with that, I moved to the next shelf and began reading the spines of numerous books, hoping to run into the words _artifacts_ or _cabinets._ I also had to figure out a way of returning the books I has previously gotten under Granger's nose, before the magic activated. If the library books weren't returned to their rightful place before a certain amount of time (based on the number of pages) they were charmed to fly out of your hands (or in this case, my bag) and go back to the library, with nothing stopping them. It would cause quite a stir if she saw what kinds of books I was reading.

I took the little book about music out of my bag and noticed she was staring at me.

"I'm going to return this while I'm here," I proclaimed, waving the book in my hand.

"How was it?" She asked and I shrugged.

"Not bad. I little more boring than I expected," careful not to give any more information, I strolled to the end of the library and felt her gaze on the back of my head. My stomach dropped unexpectedly.

 _Does she want me? Is this possible?_

When I was out of sight, I quickly put back the two books in my bag and the one in my hand. I heard steps getting closer. I swiftly snatched the first book I saw with the words _dark_ and _artifacts_ and stuffed it into my bag before feeling her presence and turning around. Her cheeks were red and her eyes focused, walking sternly towards me.

"Hermione, what…" without a second warning, she was throwing her arms around my neck and crashing our lips together. I was so shocked that it took me a second to respond, letting my bag fall to the floor and putting both my hands around her waist. The kiss was a little clumsy but very strong and intense. I could tell this time she hadn't kissed many guys before, but the determination she was putting behind it made me forget everything else. She parted her mouth and softly brushed our tongues together. I let out a low, pathetic grunt that made my face flush with embarrassment. I couldn't believe how much I wanted this. She lost her balance slightly since she was standing on her tip toes, so I leaned in to make it easier for her and began tracing my hands through her back and hair, feeling the curls between my fingers as she caressed my neck. I delicately bit her lower lip and for the first time heard her moan deliciously into my mouth. I smirked, making sure she felt it, and gradually pushed her back until she hit the shelf, making her dig her fingers on my skin. It was all too much and I couldn't get enough. I left her mouth and began tracing kisses from her jaw to her neck, sucking on the skin lightly until I felt her hands on my shoulders and her voice vibrating next to my ear.

"Draco…I think that's enough," I couldn't possibly believe her, since her voice was so full of lust that made my entire body twitch, but I stopped nonetheless and looked at her with blown pupils and fast breathing, my hands still on her waist. She looked more tempting than ever, her chest falling and rising, lips swollen and hair out of place. She slowly slid her hands from my shoulders to her sides, arranging her skirt as she cleared her throat.

"I'm…sorry. I got carried away. I hope I wasn't too…inappropriate," Her voice was still lustful and now she looked down at the floor, where I now remembered I had dropped my bag.

"You weren't. I'm glad you did it," I waited until she returned my gaze to drop my hands from her waist and stuff them in my pockets.

"You are?" Her face lit up a bit and I nodded.

"I am. You're not such a bad kisser, if I do say so myself," I smirked.

"Not such a bad kisser?" She repeated in an amused shock. "Well, excuse me for not having kissed half the country in order to perfect my technique!"

"Don't worry, I'll teach you if you want," She playfully hit my arm.

"So you don't mind kissing me. You don't mind kissing a…" She trailed off and looked away from me.

"A what, Hermione?" I knew exactly where she was going, but it was probably better if I pretended to ignore it.

"You know…a mudblood," Her voice wasn't shy, it was more like disgust. She hated that word and she couldn't hide it.

"I think you know the answer to that. Would you have kissed me if you thought I still considered you _that?_ " She shook her head.

"What made you change your mind?"

"I was a kid. I didn't know what I was doing," She looked like she wasn't certain of the truthfulness behind my words. I sighed. "I'm sorry for saying it before. It meant nothing coming from me. Things change, Granger, let's just leave it at that," And boy, was that true.

"Apology accepted. Did you find an interesting book?" She asked, nodding to my bag on the floor.

"Oh. Yes. Something about the history of wizard's alcoholic beverages," I picked up my bag and thanked my fast thinking.

"I hope you're not planning to brew some firewhiskey in Snape's lessons," She quirked an eyebrow at me.

"A fun as it would be to witness someone drunk on this prudish school, Snape would probably give me life-time detention from merely attempting it,"

She giggled softly "Right…Well, I better get going, it's late and I've got some homework,"

"Alright," I confirmed and we both walked out of the library and into the dark and empty hall.

"See you tomorrow, Draco," She smiled and I saw fire in her eyes. The same fire I'd witnessed in Umbridge's office; the same fire she had when she was mad at me, the fire that was so uniquely hers, it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Goodnight," I offered and she turned around and left. Her scent lingered and it was already giving me flashbacks of our kiss just moments earlier.

When I got to the Slytherin dungeons, I headed straight for the shower and masturbated until my vision got blurry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Even though Granger's infuriating endeavor of stopping me every time I got 'too touchy' (as she put it) was giving me blue balls, I really enjoyed our secret encounters. We met up about once a week on the Restricted Section of the library, an unspoken agreement to snog each other's faces until out of breath. She always pretended she really did need some book and that's why she was there, but we both knew our true intentions. It worked wonders for me because I also got to sneak out several books that helped me immensely in my attempts at completing the task, even though they soon started to accumulate under my bed. She was distracting me too much for my own good, but I often shrugged it off and told myself I deserved it.

I still spent plenty of time in the Room of Requirement, but mostly working on dismantling the entire cabinet. I learnt from one of the books it had to be completely rebuilt using the appropriate magic because it was too old and too distant from the other cabinet to work properly. While carefully separating the components of the cabinet, I'd fantasize about bringing Granger here and finally convince her to let me take her clothes off.

She usually sat by me in Ancient Runes, since her two pets were too stupid to comprehend it. At first I was reluctant to being so close to her in public, but she didn't seem to mind, so I relaxed and let other people's opinions slide off me. I didn't have any friends anyway. We made quite a nice progress in Runes when we worked together. She was nearly as good as me.

On the 3rd of March we were halfway through the class and already done with the workshop. She continued reading out of fun and I observed her pink lips, mouthing the words to herself as she read them. I wanted to dive head-first into her mouth. I tore a piece of parchment and began to write something in runes.

"What are you doing?" She asked, turning to me.

"Something for you to decode," I whispered and slipped the parchment to her.

"Oh, how fun!" She beamed and began reading my symbols. When I noticed she was near the end, I carefully left my seat and snuck out while she wasn't looking. I walked to the nearest broom cupboard next to the bathrooms and closed the door behind me. I patiently waited and about 5 minutes later the door opened and she slipped inside.

"I thought you weren't coming," I breathed close to her. The space was small and very dark.

"I just couldn't actually believe you suggested we skipped class to snog in a cupboard," She said in a disbelieving tone.

"So why are you here?" I asked and she moved a little closer.

"Because…I felt bad for you,"

I pressed our bodies together and she gasped. Without another word we started devouring each other, kissing, biting, licking, nibbling at each other's lips and tongues without restraint. Our kisses were absolutely perfect now, so passionate and intense; it was hard to keep it in my pants. I passed my hands through the sides of her body, landing on her hips. She gradually let me touch her more, and her hips were probably my favorite place. Soft and firm at the same time. She planted her hand on my chest and began to lower it, until just above my trousers, tightly clutching my shirt there, untucking it from my pants. I let out a low grunt and tore her hand away from there, bending my knees to wrap my arms around her hips and lift her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around me and I pushed her against the wall. She was trembling and breathing fast while running her hands all over my neck and back, and her eagerness clouded my mind. I was now holding her up by her arse, squeezing tightly and delighting myself with the beautiful skin under her skirt. I was amazed at how far she had let me go, and without wanting to, I let myself get hard and she quivered when she felt me on the inside of her thigh, letting out the most obscene moan I'd ever heard, that only made me get even harder.

She grabbed a fist of my hair with force and looked me straight in the eye. I could barely see her pupils from the darkness, but I knew they were blown, and her mouth parting.

"Draco…" She breathed. She was asking me to stop, but this time it felt like she was genuinely asking me to decide whether we should stop or not. I obviously wanted to keep going, but I knew it would be best for me in the future if I stopped now and didn't disappoint her trust.

I carefully lowered her so she could put her feet on the floor and stand up, unwrapping herself from me. When I felt her warmth leaving me I sighed deeply.

"Honestly, Hermione, you're lucky you're not just any random girl, because I wouldn't…" The second I realized what I had said I stopped in my tracks, clenching my fists.

Had I…Had I just told her she was special?

Her eyes were wide with shock but her expression slowly softened to a huge smirk.

"I mean, I…" I stammered. "What I meant to say was that…"

"Don't worry, Draco," She cut me off. "You don't have to explain yourself," She was now fixing her clothes and hair, still sporting her smirk.

"Then stop looking so bloody satisfied, Granger," I stated "It's not like you beat me at a Runes essay," My cheeks were red but I tried to compose myself and ruffled my hands through my hair.

"Don't worry," she started fixing my tie, "I'll do that too,"

I scoffed "You're so fucking arrogant," I smiled because I knew she would slap my shoulder.

And she did " _Me?_ Arrogant? Have you even looked at yourself in a mirror?" She retorted.

"Of course," I answered with my own signature smirk. "I must look gorgeous with this sex-hair and clothes," I concluded and I could feel her cheeks burning up.

"What? For Merlin's sake, fix yourself up before getting back out there!" She commanded, her hands trying to tame down her curls.

"It doesn't matter how much you try, Granger, we still reek of sex," my words made her snap her head at me, her eyes widening and mouth ajar.

" _What?!_ What do you mean? We didn't…we didn't…"

"I know we didn't," I stopped her. "But we smell of sweat, hormones and each other. And we both look shagged, what do you think people would assume?" I teased and she slapped me again on the shoulder.

"Ow! You need to stop doing that, it's not really fair," I exclaimed and she cut me off.

"Okay, here's the plan, you'll go in first and act like nothing's happened and some minutes later, I'll walk in and excuse myself to Professor Babbling because I had to go to the nursery and,"

"Granger!" I yelled, almost too loud. She was pacing back and forth in the tiny space and rambling without breathing. "I was just trying to annoy you. Calm yourself. No one's going to realize what we've done. It's you and me, Granger, I think it's safe to say no one on their right mind would expect this from us…so you can relax and return to class. I'll go inside some moments later and nobody will take a second look at us. I promise,"

She breathed in relieve and nodded. "Alright, yes…you're right of course," She laughed in disbelief. "Who would think I've been snogging Draco Malfoy…it's mental, really,"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, yes, you're too precious for this rotten fruit," I spun her around to face the door but she forced my arms and turned to see me again.

"No…I didn't mean it like that…I meant…" She began "I just didn't want anyone to think we've…you know,"

"It'd be more logical for you to be afraid of being seen with me than to fear other people thinking you've shagged someone. Honestly, Hermione… what are you so afraid of?"

She looked down at her shoes and shrugged. "I just…I'm just not there yet, alright? Let's just go," She turned and reached for the door, opening it slightly and letting a bit of light in, before I grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Don't you trust me?" I asked, my voice low. She scanned my face curiously and I bit my tongue. After a while her lips curled up at the ends.

"I wouldn't be snogging you if I didn't, right?" Her mouth spoke the words but her eyes told me otherwise. I just nodded and she stole one last kiss before walking out carefully and closing the door behind her.

I stood in the darkness for a moment, repeating her words in my mind.

 _She doesn't trust me._

I felt anger bubbling up inside me. How could she not trust me? What was I doing to make her still wary of my intentions? How dare she?

My shoulders slumped and my fists unclenched when a little voice inside my head reminded me I was currently in the middle of a plan that would put the whole school in jeopardy and bring about the death of an innocent man. I was in no position to ask for trust, but she couldn't possible know that. And it's not like I wanted to hurt her in particular. I had been nothing but perfectly decent with her…mostly. And I was respecting her wishes more than I had done with anyone else before.

Except the Dark Lord.

I rubbed my temples with my hands and sighed. When did I get so fucked up? There I was, having a secret affair with Hogwarts most beloved student, while, also in secret, trying to execute the most difficult task of my life to avoid getting me and my family killed, and demanding trust from the one person that should probably never give it to me. And it was all secret. And it was all too much.

I walked into the hall with no intention of going back to class. I didn't need to see Granger's condescending eyes again. The fact that she didn't trust me made me angry, but the fact that I cared so much made me completely furious. I wanted this whole thing over.

I was about to head to the 7th floor when a hand landed on my shoulder and whispered my name. The voice was familiar and it almost made me smile, if it wasn't for the fact that I was so monumentally enraged.

I turned around and there she was, sporting a pleasing smile.

Pansy.

She was holding some books in her arms and waited for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say, I hadn't spoken to her since the Hogwarts express, when I told her to fuck off and stop asking me what's wrong.

"Hi," She offered, looking a little uncomfortable at my lack of words. I put my hands in my pockets.

"Hi, Pansy," I returned and she sighed in relief. I guess she thought I was going to insult her again.

"I was just wondering how you were. I haven't seen you around much," She said in her small, feminine voice and I shrugged. How was I supposed to act in a situation like this?

"Fine. I've been busy," I replied and she nodded.

"I saw you come out of the cupboard a minute ago…" She began and my heart started racing wildly. What if she'd seen Granger too? What could I possible say to her?

"And I decided to come and make sure you were okay…I mean, hiding in a broom cupboard by yourself isn't exactly your most characteristic behavior," She continued and my insides relaxed immediately. It was better for her to think I was crazy than to think I waskissing Hermione Granger. Which was also completely bonkers.

"I needed a moment of peace. Professor Babbling's class was too stressful today," I lied and she nodded again, obviously not believing my ridiculous excuse, but not fighting it either.

We stood still for a moment, quiet and uncomfortable, unable to stare into each other's eyes. She was the only girl in my world for the past 5 years of my life and now I couldn't even face her. When I was 12 I always thought I would marry her and have gorgeous children. But eventually I realized she was more of a friend than anything else, and she was my best friend, always better than Crab or Goyle or Blaise.

"I have to go now. Sorry. I have lots to do," I stated. She said nothing and continued to stare at her books. I took that as a goodbye and turned on my heel to leave, but she grabbed my arm.

"Draco, you know I only want to help you. If there's anything I can do, you can ask me. I'm sure you don't need to do everything by yourself all the time," She stammered and I didn't move. I felt a bit nostalgic for old times for a second, but this was bigger than any of us, and I certainly couldn't drag her with me, even though I knew she'd understand what I had to do to keep from dying, and she would probably be of tremendous help but…

Her eyes were locked with mine and I noticed she was sad. I placed my hand on her arm and faked a smile.

"I know you are, Pansy. And I'm sorry; you can't help me with anything. But that was very Gryffindor of you," I teased and she broke into a smile.

"Shut up. You just look like total shit all the time. Might as well ask…" I smiled back and in that moment a roar of voices coming our way reached my ears. We turned around and saw the students from Ancient Runes leave the classroom. I immediately caught Granger's eyes and she caught mine. She stood frozen for a second, just watching me an Pansy holding each other's arms and smiling, but then she continued her way and descended the stairs, out of my sight.

"If I can't help, at least let me see you more often. I kind of miss your stupid presence around," She was staring back at me, not letting go of my arm.

"First you act like a Gryffindor and now like a bloody Hufflepuff. If I were to leave you alone for a while longer you wouldn't be a Slytherin at all," She slapped my arm with the same hand she was holding it a second ago and I also let go of her.

"Alright, alright. I understand you need to see my face more often. I'll come around for dinner later on and find you there. But don't make me interact with any of those idiots you usually sit with. I'm just agreeing to meet you," I explained and she smiled again.

"Okay. See you then, Draco. And stop hiding out in cupboards, it's rather pathetic," She called before walking away and I flipped her off. She giggled and continued her way down the hall. I turned around and ran up the stairs to the 7th floor with a smile on my face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

After running into Pansy I was able to spend all the rest of the day in the Room of Requirement. She made me forget about Granger for a while, so concentrating was easier, but I still had a long way to go before I could complete my nightmare. While I worked on rebuilding the cabinet, I started thinking about Dumbledore.

Slughorn obviously hadn't given him the mead yet, or else I would have found out. I woke up terrified each morning thinking that at any second now, I would hear the insufferable scream from Professor Mcgonagall echoing through the castle after finding Dumbledore dead in his office. But it never came and it seemed it was never going to come now; it had been a while. I felt relief, and that tortured me; if I couldn't even manage the thought of killing him indirectly, how was I going to react if I eventually had to stand before him, my wand pointed and tasting the bitter words in my mouth. I clenched my fists in frustration, trying to repeat the words in my mind.

I punched the cabinet door, breaking it further, collapsing all afternoon's job in just one blow. I cursed loudly and held my fist with my other hand, watching as it progressively got redder. I couldn't even _think_ about those bloody words I was supposed to mean. Aunt Bella always told me "You have to mean it, Draco," and I always listened, but she never said what to do when you just don't. I guess she couldn't comprehend that, she always seemed to mean it with anyone. There were times when I looked at her face and realized, she could even mean it with me.

I left the room with my head hanging hopelessly, not being careful about leaving because it was already very dark, so no one would see me at these hours.

I realized I was mistaken when I bumped into a large body covered in black robes. I recognized the dark, somber shoes immediately and then slowly raised my head to meet the piercing gaze of Snape. He raised an eyebrow at me and eyed me from head to feet and back again.

"You don't look very presentable," He noted and it was true. I had spent Merlin knew how many hours in there, draining all my magical energy into one useless artifact that would only bring me more demise. I even forgot to get dinner.

 _Fuck!_ I thought as I placed my hand on my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Dinner. I had forgotten to go down and meet Pansy as I had told her I would. She was surely going to hate me. And now I had to deal with Granger's mistrust, Pansy's rage and Snape's lecture. All the while, planning the death of Hogwart's most beloved headmaster and sneaking flesh-eating wolves and darks wizards into the 'Safest Place on Earth". Again, I thanked Lucius for my position.

"I'm tired. Can I go to bed please?" I uttered, stepping away from him but he stopped me and stood before me again.

"Not so fast Mr. Malfoy," he said in his disturbingly particular voice. "I need to know how you are doing," he continued and I shrugged.

"I didn't think you cared about my well-being," I spat and he stepped closer. I was one of the tallest students in school but he could still look down on me from an inch or two, and it made him all the more intimidating.

"I don't mean you, exactly. And I think you know what I mean. How is _it_ doing?" He insisted and I rolled my eyes in frustration.

"Fine," I began but he interrupted me abruptly.

"And don't say just 'fine', Mr. Malfoy, because you are very aware that any little mistake could be fatal…for both of us…" He reminded me and I stood in silence until he continued.

"So, if things are not going as swimmingly as they should, you know I am to help you. I hate having to tell you this, Mr. Malfoy, but you don't actually have to do it all by yourself," he finished and I had a flashback of Pansy's words.

"It's fine," I repeated and he narrowed his eyes dangerously at me. "And I mean that. I worked out what I needed to do and now I just need more time to do it. I don't need your help," I remarked and he nodded slightly.

"Maybe I could assist you by getting you inside the Restricted Section of the Library, or maybe getting you a book or two from there…" He stopped when I shook my head.

"No. It's okay, I was able to get in on my own terms, and I can do it again if I need to," I said as Granger popped into my head.

Snape blew air out of his nose and stepped away slightly. "Alright, Mr. Malfoy. I'll take your word for it this time, but if in a couple of weeks I see you in this state again," He signaled at my body. "And nothing's changed, then I will be forced to step in. And you will let me. Are we clear?" He asked with finality and I nodded, not letting him see how weak I actually felt. I wanted to lower to my knees and beg him to take this task away from me. To make it all disappear and help me with this burden, but I didn't, and I couldn't. That sort of weakness didn't suit me, and as much as I wanted to crash and burn in this instant, I had a reputation to maintain and a job to finish. It was commanded to me and me only. I couldn't drag anyone else into this, not even Snape. I needed to maintain my pride.

Without another word, he left and strolled to the end of the corridor. I climbed down the stairs to the dungeons and as soon as I saw my bed, I collapsed into it, spending a night of terrible nightmares, but at least they didn't wake me up.

The next morning I was starving, so I decided to skip my morning session of work at the Room of Requirement and head for breakfast instead. Snape's words made me feel uneasy, but I was pretty sure I could make it without his help.

When I entered the Great Hall I was instantly struck by two different, _very different_ , stares.

One the left side of the hall, was Hermione. She saw me come in and was looking particularly striking. I don't know what it was, but I felt a sudden urge to ran up to her and devour her mouth right in front of everyone, especially Weasley. The thought of winding him up made everything even better. But my fantasy faded away when I noticed her eyes. I couldn't understand if she was sad or mad. It would probably be equally bad.

On the opposite side, was Pansy. She also watched as I walked in and was throwing me a death glare, as I expected. I sighed, and glanced at Hermione once more before heading towards Pansy. I noticed how I usually refer to her as 'Granger' in my head, except when I was feeling particularly attracted to her. That, and her mad eyes made me soft inside. I couldn't tell if it was because I cared about her, or because I was afraid of her.

Pansy turned her head to her food when she realized I was going her way. She was sitting at the edge of the table alone and I sat next to her.

"Hey," I offered, as cheerfully as I could, but she ignored me. This was going to be more difficult than I thought. She played with her food.

"I'm sorry Pans," I surprised myself at my word choosing, I hadn't called her that in over a year. "I lost track of time and before I knew it, it was already dark. I'm really sorry,"

She dropped her fork and made me jump. She looked me dead in the eye.

"I shut down my friends for you. I told them to back away because I was having dinner with you. They told me I was crazy, because you had been acting like a dick all year, even for you, it has been too drastic, but I told everyone to give you a break, because I knew you are having a hard time. But you know what? They were right. You are a dick, and even Slytherins can't stand you now. So I don't know if you can just excuse yourself with 'I lost track of time.'"

I was shocked. She looked away from me and back to her food, ignoring me and I started seeing red. I gritted my teeth to keep myself from screaming and grabbed her wrist with force. She dropped her fork again.

"You don't know anything. You have no idea about what's going on in my life and you have no right to judge me. I don't give a damn about what your friends think of me, but I will not stand by while you, my _friend_ , accuse me without having a fucking clue about a 'hard time'," I let go of her hand an placed my left forearm in her lap, just under the table, and pulled up my sleeve. She looked down and gasped at my mark, covering her mouth with her hand and then looking back up at my eyes. I pulled down my sleeve again and moved my face closer to hers, our foreheads almost crashing together.

"I can't be the Draco you want me to be anymore. That was bullshit. This is what I will be from now on; distant, quiet, and bloody fucked up, so if you still want to be in my life, that's fine, but if you're going to go around talking about my life and calling me a dick with your friends, you can go fuck off and never see my face again," I spat and her eyes were big and round with surprise. She seemed speechless so I just stood up and walked away, my hunger had disappeared.

I was about to leave the Great Hall when a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me behind. I turned around and Pansy was standing there, tears in her eyes and shaking. I sighed loudly and walked closer to her. She engulfed me in a tight hug and I froze up, but eventually relaxed and hugged her back, my chin resting on her head. I couldn't help to make comparisons between her and Granger. They were about the same height, but Pansy was thinner. Pansy smelled of expensive perfume while Granger smelled of sweets and books. It felt weird holding another girl like this after only doing it with Granger for so long. I felt her stopped shaking so I let go.

"I'm sorry, Draco. I had no idea. You're right," She sobbed and wiped the tears from her face. "I do want you in my life, forgive me for being so stupid,"

I nodded and placed my hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. I'm sorry for missing dinner. Let's just have breakfast instead and forget about the whole thing, alright?" I suggested and she smiled weakly. We headed back to the table side by side and I noticed everyone looking at us. Everyone had witnessed our little quarrel, but I was pretty careful not to let anyone else hear what it was about, much less see my mark, so I didn't mind the staring. My stomach dropped when I noticed Hermione was eyeing us too.

We sat at the table and I helped myself to eggs and sausages. I needed to calm my stomach.

Pansy quickly changed the subject and was filling me in on all the latest gossip of the Slytherin house. I nodded along and sometimes laughed o asked questions, but I wasn't really paying attention to her words. I kept sneaking glances across the hall at Hermione. Sometimes she was looking, sometimes she wasn't, but I couldn't stop myself from trying to see her. I felt it had been weeks since we last spoke, but it had barely been a day.

Pansy kept talking and leaning into me. She obviously missed me a lot. I missed her too, but I also felt like I was over that 'relying on my friend of the opposite sex for physical contact' business. We used to do that all the time and that's why people probably assumed we were together, when it was just comfortable fun. But now she was doing it again like nothing had ever happened and I just wanted to push her away.

I noticed that Hermione had finished eating a while ago, but she was still there. Slowly, one by one, her friends starting disappearing, until just Potter and Weasley were by her sides. Eventually, they left too and she was sitting alone with a book in front of her face. Pansy grabbed her things and said she had a class to attend to, so we said goodbye and she left.

It took all my will not to walk over to Hermione the second Pansy left, and I was about to leave too, when a familiar bird landed on the table in front of me. It was my mother's black owl and she had a letter tied to her foot. I took it and pet her before she took off, with a piece of bread in her beak.

I looked around before opening the letter. Hermione was peacefully reading her book and the Slytherin table was almost deserted, so I began reading.

" _Dear Draco: I hope you are well, I miss you profoundly. I am very concerned and scared for you, my son. Things are getting a little frantic over here. I can't spare any details, but you will understand when I say; they are getting desperate. Your father and I are trying our hardest to hold them back and give you a little more time, but I'm afraid it won't be much longer._

 _Draco, you need to trust Severus. He will help you no matter what, and will give them good words on your progress if you let him. Maybe that will calm them down. Please, consider it._

 _I am very sorry I have to ask this much of you, but I know you can do it. I love you very much, Draco, and we will see each other soon, when it's all over._

 _Take care of yourself,_

 _Mother."_

My hands were shaking as a lonely tear fell from my face and landed on the parchment. I rapidly shut my eyes and choked back any more tears. I couldn't do this, not here, not now. I had to contain myself. I crumbled the letter in my hand and stuffed it in my pocket. I took calming breaths before standing up and storming out of the Great Hall. I caught a glimpse of Granger on the way out, but I couldn't face her like this.

I made my way to the 7th floor as fast as I could, almost sprinting past other students and teachers, sweat rolling down my face and my body hurting with pressure. I reached the corridor and sighed in relief when I noticed no one was there. My mother's words were pounding in my ears and my heart raced dangerously fast. I felt my stomach turn and twist with the food I had just eaten and raced to the nearest bathroom.

I dropped my bag as soon as I entered and held myself up from one of the sinks, breathing rapidly trying to calm myself.

 _Don't be sick. Please don't be sick._

I stood there for a second, almost collapsing over the sink, but eventually my nausea died out and I was able to straighten up and look at myself in the mirror. I was white as a ghost but my eyes were red, and I almost didn't recognized myself. I opened the tap and splashed some water in my face, attempting to regain my composure before getting to work. I was going to skip class and continue with my task right away; I couldn't keep fooling around if my mother was being this urgent, she hadn't written to me all year. I needed to finish this as soon as possible.

The cool water hitting my face made my breathing even and my heart calm down, but it didn't last long; as I stood up once again and opened my eyes in front of the mirror, I saw Granger's reflection. She was standing on the entrance of the bathroom, behind me, completely paralyzed. I snapped around to face her.

"What the hell are you doing here? Go away!" I yelled and she frowned.

"No," She exclaimed and stood her ground. I stomped angrily towards her and she didn't even flinch.

"Fuck off, Granger. I'm serious. Now!" I commanded again and she crossed her arms and looked up at me.

"No. I'm not leaving. Not until you talk to me," she stated and closed the door behind her.

"I have nothing to say to you. Piss off!" I yelled again, louder now and she shook her head.

"You're going to have to hex me," She said, calmly, with her eyes fixed on me.

I considered her words for a few seconds. She looked overwhelmingly intimidating, the fire on her eyes burning wildly and there was no way she was going to let me out of this on my own terms.

I launched myself onto her and kissed her awkwardly, crashing out mouths together with force and making her stumble backwards until she hit he door. I pushed myself against her body and held her head with both my hands, desperately kissing her and feeling my wet face drip onto her. She instinctively wrapped her arms around my neck and started returning the kiss, parting her lips and letting our tongues meet. I groaned and pressed my body even harder against hers, biting her lip and fisting her hair tightly. She moaned and dug her fingernails on my neck and back. I continued sucking and biting her lip, encouraged by her whimpering, until I realized she was trying to push me away. I let go of her lip and looked her in the eye. She was wincing and tensed up.

"You're hurting me, Draco," She wailed and I was suddenly aware of my fists clinging to her hair, so I let go and took a step away from her and noticed her lip was bleeding. My eyes widened as she reached her hands to her head and rubbed on it carefully.

"Fuck," I whispered, dropping my shoulders and stepping closer to her again. "I am so sorry, Hermione,"

"It's okay," She said, opening her eyes and relaxing her face.

"No, it's not, you're bleeding," I exclaimed as my finger grasped her lower lip and hovered in front of her. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, seeing the blood for herself.

"Fuck…I am so sorry. I got carried away, I didn't mean to do this," I hugged her carefully and inhaled the sweet essence of her hair. She relaxed in my arms and hugged me back. This exchange of tenderness wasn't usual, but I felt weak and guilty. It had already been a difficult morning and now I was making it all worse; no wonder she didn't trust me.

"What's wrong, Draco? I know something's up. Is it Pansy? Are you upset because you argued with her?" Her soft voice spoke and I shrugged.

"It's nothing. I'm okay," I mumbled and continued to enjoy her warmth; the only comfort I was going to have. But she slipped away from my arms and looked at me with a serious expression.

"Damn it, Draco! Stop being a bloody child and just tell me!" She demanded, her big brown eyes pleading as she wiped away the blood on her lip with the sleeve of her dark jumper, not even flinching.

I sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you," I began, scanning her expression that softened at my words. I couldn't tell her the real reason I was so upset, I had to think fast.

"I did argue with Pansy. She…confessed her feeling for me this morning," I lied and she seemed taken aback by my words.

"What?" She asked and I nodded. "She told me she wanted to be my girlfriend, but I told her I didn't feel the same way and she got really upset. I told her she had to accept that if she wanted to continue being my friend and she apologized and we sat down to eat, but then she started leaning onto me and touching me a lot, so I rejected her again and she just stood up and left, furiously," I continued and she wrapped her arms around herself, uncomfortable. "I just felt really angry at her for not accepting my conditions and, you know, losing her as a friend,"

Hermione nodded and I chew my lip. Was she going to buy all of this? I probably sounded like a bloody Hufflepuff.

She placed her hand on my arm and rubbed it empathetically. "I'm sorry, Draco. It must be awful losing such an old friend,"

 _Thank fucking Merlin she believed me. Gryffindors are so gullible._

I smiled sadly and shrugged "Yeah, well…I'm sorry again. It wasn't fair to take it all out on you,"

"Don't worry about it. I'll cast a quick healing charm and it'll be as good as new. Just don't do it again,"

"I promise. I'll be very gentle with you from now on," I leered at her and she chuckled. We stood in silence for a few seconds.

"So…" She broke in. "You don't fancy Parkinson," I shook my head.

"Not really. Why? Are you jealous, Granger?" I smirked and she scoffed.

"Jealous? Don't make me laugh," She said in a disbelieving tone.

"I noticed you were staring a lot," I offered and she blushed. "Don't worry, Granger, I'm not shagging Pansy, nor do I plan to," I teased.

"Shut up. I'm not jealous. And how do you know I was staring a lot? Were _you_ staring at _me_?"

"As a matter of fact, I was. I was remembering out little encounter yesterday," I smirked again and she blushed furiously now. I leaned down and kissed very softly her right next to her lip, then down her jaw, and finally on her neck feeling her going stiff as a soft moan escaped her lips. I straightened up and witnessed her pupils were blown and she was flustered.

"Don't worry, Granger. We won't do it again," I explained and opened the bathroom door. "Unless you want to," I added and she breathed, heavily.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I knew I had made Granger think. I left her imagining dirty, beautiful things in that overworked brain of hers, and it was going to pay back. I wasn't going to look for her again; she was going to have to look for me.

Meanwhile, I had spent 6 nights in a row on the Room of Requirement. I barely slept, I didn't eat, and I was skipping at least one lesson per day. Saturday felt glorious, not because it meant free time, but because I didn't have to skip any classes and it made me feel less guilty. I decided to take Sunday's afternoon off to catch up on the homework I had; I couldn't let my grades drop down, teachers would notice and start questioning my behavior. I was right behind Granger, after all.

I decided I needed some fresh air, so I stood up from the floor of the room and eyed my project rather proudly. The cabinet was half-finished. A whole week's of labor finally paying off. But I realized I would need to get another book from the Restricted Section. This was magic beyond my powers, but as much as I hated to admit it, I had learnt a _lot_ by working on this god-forsaken cabinet.

I grabbed my bag and looked at myself in a mirror lying around before heading out. It was the worst I've looked in my whole life. I probably lost 6 pounds this week alone; I was a living skeleton with white hair. I sighed and tried my best to look presentable, but it was a lost cause. I headed out carefully and closed the door behind me. I was at the end of the hall when I noticed a breeze that carried a peculiar smell of old books and warm sweets. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, frowning. Granger was standing in the middle of the hall, just where the door of the Room of Requirement had disappeared a moment ago.

"Hey!" She called out with a smile and caught up to me. "Where are you headed?" She added.

"Um… downstairs to the lake, to do some homework," I answered, still sporting my frown. "Where are you headed?" I asked in return.

"The library. I was just up on the Astronomy Tower making some observations for my next project and I realized I needed some more information. Do you want to go with me? I haven't seen you all week," She commented casually and we began descending the stairs.

"I don't know…I kind of wanted some fresh air," I noted and she smiled warmly.

"That's understandable," She agreed, as if she noticed I was in desperate need for a break of being inside. We walked in silence for a while until she turned to me.

"You know? Fresh air sounds brilliant. What if I go get my books and then meet you at the lake?" She asked enthusiastically.

"What is it with you, Granger? Why do you want to parade around with me in front of everyone? Don't you have a reputation to maintain?" I asked and we stopped walking, already on the 3rd floor, the roar of voices from students on a weekend getting louder. She hesitated for a moment.

"Why don't you call me a 'mudblood' anymore, Malfoy? Don't you have a reputation to maintain?" Her question burned a hole in my chest. It was exactly the question I had been trying to avoid myself.

"What's your point?" I merely answered and she shrugged.

"That reputations don't matter. I'm not just a bookworm and you're not just a bully. There is no reason for me not to be your friend now. Or can you think of one?" Her eyes were reading me and I felt invaded for a second. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was using Legilimency on me. I couldn't help it, and my mind shot back to my different attempts at killing Dumbledore. If that wasn't a good reason for us not to be friends, I didn't know what it was.

At least that proved she wasn't reading my mind. I would have probably been dead by now.

I finally shook my head fervently "No. There isn't one. But I hardly think Potter and Weasley would be happy to see you in my presence. They'll hex me to the bottom of the lake in a second,"

She chuckled at my words. "I can handle Harry and Ron. If you don't mind being seen with me, that is," She continued walking and I followed her after a second.

"Fine. I'll wait for you by the lake. I'm bloody sick of this castle," I said, looking around as we reached the ground floor. They were many students talking and walking around.

"I won't take long," She called before walking the other way. I watched her leave for a second, but turned away, rolling my eyes as I noticed a couple of heads waiting for her at the end of the hall. One red. One black.

Merlin only knew what the hell she told those two buffoons about me for them to let her out of their protective wing long enough for us to meet. I smirked to myself because, no matter how mad they got about the prospect of us hanging out together, it was nothing compared to the show they'd put on if they knew I was snogging her. I felt that advantage over them. Weasley would probably have a seizure.

I sat down by a tree as far away from the castle as possible and pulled my book and parchment from my bag. Mcgonagall had given us a horribly boring essay about the differences in the processes of Animal Transfiguration and Animagus. Lucky for me, Granger had probably already done it and I could ask her about it. My heart skipped a beat when I saw her coming my way in the distance; her eyes fixed on her own feet and her skirt ruffling on the wind, grazing her legs. I looked back to my homework when she was close enough, pretending not to notice her. She sat down next to me and immediately opened a large book in front of her.

"Trouble in paradise?" I asked, obviously referring to her two Gryffindor sidekicks.

She shook her head fervently. "No. Everything's fine," But it was obvious it wasn't. She had argued with them. But I felt triumphant inside because she had chosen me. I knew I didn't exactly deserve her, but I ignored that voice in my head and enjoyed my momentary victory. I casually asked her about Mcgonagall's essay and she gladly changed the subject, explaining how she had gone about it. I began writing silently while she read her astronomy book. I was suddenly glad I wasn't taking that class, it seems almost as dull as Divination, but she continued to remark how interesting it was.

After a while of both concentrating on our own thing, she broke the silence.

"So, where have you been lately? I haven't seen you around all week," She didn't tear her eyes away from the book. I cleared my throat.

"I've been having special lessons with Snape. He offered to help when I mentioned I was interested in becoming a Potions Master," I answered simply, trying not to make a big deal out of it. I had already thought up of that excuse in case anyone asked. It was believable enough because I'd always been close to Snape, and it would make sense in case I decided to accept his offer to help me in the future; which seemed more and more likely as the days went by.

"Oh," She exclaimed in surprise, looking at me "I didn't know you liked Potions that much. That's great!"

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Granger," I smirked "Yet," I finished and she rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Well, I think it's a good idea to have special lessons. But you shouldn't neglect your other classes. You'll need top marks in everything for the Headmaster you write a recommendation letter for your apprenticeship," She declared bossily.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "I am aware of that. Don't worry about my grades, I have it under control," She smiled at my words and lowered her gaze to her book again.

"That said…" I continued and she looked back at me "I wouldn't mind getting your help with this blasted essay," I smiled charmingly at her. She stared at my stretched lips for a second, apparently distracted and found my eyes and nodded. I turned my smile into a smirk. My charm never failed me. She snatched the parchment from my lap and began reading what I already had. My eyes snapped to the grounds, casually scanning the place until I landed on the Dope Duo. They were at the foot of the castle, looking our way and talking avidly to each other. I narrowed my eyes and shot them a death glare. They reciprocated the look and continued to mouth-bash me. I couldn't hear them, but I was sure that's what they were doing.

"Just don't mind them. They're being silly," I heard Hermione say next to me.

"That's an understatement," I spat. "I don't see why you continue to befriend those two. They obviously make you very upset," I continued and turned to look at her.

"They do not. It's just a momentary thing," She explained.

"Is it really? First Weasley discards you for the dumb Brown girl and leaves you sobbing in the bathrooms. Then, they fail to make you feel better and leave you behind on Valentine's Day. I see you every day, sitting awkwardly among them at the Gryffindor table, ignored while they chat cheerfully with their sweethearts. Even the female Weasley has overlooked you lately; because she is too busy shagging Wonder-boy. And now they make you feel angry and guilty for being with me, just because Potter thinks I'm organizing a plot to bring doom to his precious life,"

Hermione's eyes were big with surprise and her mouth hung open.

"How…how do you know?" She exclaimed and I shrugged.

"It's pretty obvious, since he thinks I'm the source of all evil. Don't think I haven't noticed the way he looks at me, suspiciously, almost obsessively. I would have sworn he followed me once a while ago, if it wasn't for the fact that he is too busy being the center of attention of the whole school. But I don't care about what Potter thinks of me. I do not waste my time thinking about his life, for better or for worse. But it's evident he doesn't trust me at all. I don't blame him, exactly, he can hate me all he wants; I just think he shouldn't try so hard to make you hate me as well,"

Hermione shook her head softly and licked her lips "He's just looking out for me, that's all. I try telling him that you're different now, that you're not the same nasty ferret that despised my very blood…" She trailed of and looked directly at my eyes, as if searching for the truth of her words in me. It took me no effort to confirm her beliefs with my expression. Somehow, I had come to believe them myself. Yes, I was cooking up very dark plans right under her nose and deceiving her to believe I was completely innocent, but as much as I wanted to avoid it, her voice spoke the truth: I was not the same boy anymore. I didn't hate any part of her. I didn't hate her even a little bit.

"But he won't listen to me. He's really stubborn, but I think he just needs more time adjusting to the idea that you might not be so terrible after all," She concluded, apparently satisfied.

I shrugged "Like I said, I don't care if Potter likes me or not. I'm just pointing out how ridiculous it is to have friends who don't let you hang out with other people,"

Hermione gave me a warm smile and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Draco. I won't stop hanging out with you just because Harry doesn't want me to,"

I rolled my eyes "Alright, no need to get all sentimental. I guess it's okay if he doesn't stop you from sneaking around and snogging my face off," I teased with a smirk and she dropped her arm form my shoulder and put her finger up in her lip, shushing me and looking around.

"Oh, come on, Hermione, is not like anyone's listening. Besides, you really want to do it now. I can see it in your face,"

We never really talked about our kisses. Part of me was glad because that meant I could avoid explaining my actions to myself, but the other part of me was growing restless because maybe it meant she didn't want to acknowledge what we were doing; that she was ashamed of doing it.

She blushed. "It hardly matters what I want. We're in public now," She stated but I pressed on.

"Why don't you just admit you like kissing me, Granger?" I leaned closer to her.

"The fact that I do kiss you it isn't enough confirmation for you?" She asked, slightly uncomfortable.

I shook my head and she sighed. "You just want to tease me," She said and I frowned.

"I don't. I'm asking a simple, legitimate question. Do you like kissing me?" I asked again and she chuckled nervously.

"Stop it, Malfoy. Someone might hear you,"

"So? They'll think poorly of you? Little perfect Hermione Granger snogging the foul and loathsome Draco Malfoy?"

She stared at me in shock "What? No! I'm just saying it's nobody's business. It's just snogging," She stated simply and looked down at her book. I felt my cheeks get hot with anger.

I reached out and grabbed her wrist. She snapped her head at me.

"What are you doing?" She asked; her voice shrill.

"I am not joking, Hermione. Just answer me," I looked at her with a serious expression and she faltered.

"No. I won't indulge your twisted little satisfaction. You know the answer; you just want me to say it aloud," She stubbornly said. Merlin, she could drive me crazy.

"I don't know the answer because you won't tell me! Why is it so difficult to tell me?" I was gripping her wrist a little too tight and she winced.

"Why? So you can make fun of me? I know you, you're just mocking me like always," She turned away, trying to avoid my eyes. I hated when she pretended to know me. Everyone always did, but no one really knew me. Not my mother, not my father, not even Pansy. No one had any idea what I was really capable of; good or bad.

"I am not!" I spat. "Just answer the question!"

"Look, Draco, I…" she trailed off as she stared ahead of me, her eyes widening. I turned to follow her gaze and spotted Potter and Weasley walking towards us.

"Let me go. I need to stop them, they probably saw us arguing and," She began but I cut her off.

"No! I won't let you go until you tell me! I need to know!" I exclaimed, not letting go of her wrist.

"What?! No, Draco, you need to let me go, they are going to be so angry!"

"I don't care! Just tell me and I'll let you go!" I repeated and she groaned in frustration.

"Why? Why do you need to know so badly?" She raised her voice.

"Because I need to know you're not ashamed of kissing me!" I exclaimed, a little too loud. She stopped struggling and stared at me with her mouth open, as if about to say something, but then decided against it.

"I like kissing you, Granger," I told her and had no doubt my words were true. I realized it was stupid to pretend otherwise. This was the only thing at the moment that I was not forced to do, that I was taking any kind of choice in, and I wouldn't let her take it away from me, dismissing it as 'just snogging'.

I continued. "I'm not ashamed of it. That's why I started doing it. In fact, I could go right now and tell your friends, or mine, or the whole damn school for what it's worth; that I bloody love kissing you. I don't care. I don't have anything to lose anymore," The last words blurted out of me before I could stop them. Hermione was frozen, her eyes scared and glistening.

I turned around again; Potter and Weasley were almost upon us, their brows furrowed and steps determined.

I let go of her and picked up my bag and book. I looked directly at her one more time before standing up and walking away.

"Hey!" I heard Weasley's thick voice behind me "Don't you dare run away, you coward!"

"Ron, stop it," Hermione pleaded. I didn't look behind once; I just kept on walking until I reached the castle. Apparently she had convinced them to leave me alone, since they didn't follow or call me back again.

I felt pathetically defeated as I strolled around the halls of Hogwarts. I had a feeling I had just admitted to Hermione that I liked her, and it made my stomach churn. It was true that I didn't have anything to lose anymore; I could be killed tomorrow for all I knew, even if I did manage to complete my task. Hermione was surely going to hate me once she found everything out, but for the time being, I chose to ignore that. It was too much to think about, everything could be at a stake right now, my life, my parent's lives, even Hermione's if I was to get her involved in this whole affair.

A sense of hopelessness came over me as I reached the door leading to the Slytherin Dungeons. To my surprise, I wasn't alone.

"Good evening Mr. Malfoy," Snape greeted me, his face as expressionless as always.

"Hello, Professor," I replied, determined to get past him and into my bed. I felt suddenly exhausted, although I knew my brain wouldn't let me get any sleep right now.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to intervene again…" He began, blocking my way and scanning me meticulously. I sighed in defeat.

"But given the state of your appearance," he continued "You leave me no choice, Mr. Malfoy,"

I looked up at him and he raised one eye brow, judging my messy hair, sunken eyes and worn out expression.

"Fine," I declared. "I'll let you help me. Happy now?" I scowled.

"Hardly," He mocked "But I have no other choice, and neither do you. I will oversee your work from now on, making sure it's not too misguided. I will meet you tomorrow at dawn, on the 7th floor. Make sure you aren't followed,"

"I'm never followed," I sneered and he stepped aside to let me in.

"If you say so…" He finished and left silently, his large black robes following him.

I collapsed in my bed, thoughts swimming in my head in frenzy. It was all starting to come undone in front of my eyes, and I wasn't sure I could handle it. I had thought my secret with Granger was the only thing keeping me sane this school year; that I was fucking with her head this whole time. But suddenly it seemed that it was turning on me. That I was having too much of a good thing. That I was becoming addicted.

That she was fucking with _my_ head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I barely had any time to sleep that night. I forced my eyes shut and before I realized, it was already morning and I had to meet up with Snape in the Room of Requirement. I sighed deeply as I changed into my robes and left the Dungeons.

My conversation with Hermione left me feeling pathetically sad. I had never talked about my feeling as openly as that (not that it was particularly open by normal standards) and now I understood why. It makes you feel even more confused than before, and I was always happy to ignore my questions and fears and bury them deep enough to never meet them again, until eventually, I forgot about them.

But now that I had expressed them to someone else, I would have to face them. She would want to talk to me eventually.

Snape was waiting by the window in the deserted 7th floor corridor. He eyed me up and down when I approached and walked to the opposite wall.

"Good morning, Mr Malfoy. Would you be so kind to open the Room for us? We don't have any time to waste," His voice echoed in the hall and I nodded reluctantly.

 _I need a place to hide my secret. I need a place to hide my secret. I need a place to hide my secret._

I thought without taking my eyes from the wall, and eventually the outline of a door started to come visible in front of our eyes.

Without another word, Snape waited for the door to be solid enough and walked towards it. I followed him and looked around one last time before walking inside the Room of Hidden Things.

Despite my best efforts, Snape could notice that the Cabinet still needed a lot of work. It was very awkward being with the professor in this circumstance, and we barely talked the whole time we were there, but it was worth it in the end, since the work that would have taken me at least 3 days, he did in 4 hours. His magic was much more powerful than mine.

"I'm teaching a class in 15 minutes so this will have to do for today. When I have the time, we will schedule another one of these 'appointments' and continue the job. Meanwhile, I trust you to maintain what we have accomplished today and do your best in my absence, understood?" Snape asked and I nodded. I just needed to get out of there. I'd already missed breakfast but maybe I could sneak something out from the kitchens before I starved to death.

I managed to convince a few house elves that I had missed breakfast because I was studying for an exam, and as much as they seemed to dislike me, they couldn't object. I made my way to the great hall carrying a plate of sausages and another of scones and marmalade. I sat down on the edge of the empty Slytherin Table and tried to eat as fast as possible to be able to make it to Transfiguration in time.

As I was halfway through my plate of scones, I heard footsteps coming from the entrance. I turned my head and saw the Hermione's lovely shape standing there. She was clutching books to her chest as always, and looking worried and nervous. I returned my gaze to my food and waited for her to come closer. Eventually, she sat across from me and I raised my head.

"Hi," She managed an awkward smile.

"Hi," I repeated with coldness.

She blushed before sighing deeply and speaking "Alright, so I'm just going to get this over with. I'm sorry about yesterday, Draco. I didn't mean to offend you like that…I had no idea…" She paused for a moment to search my eyes, which were hard and frozen on her face.

"And I was also a lousy friend. I shouldn't have let Harry and Ron act like that. You shouldn't have had to leave. So…I talked to them. There won't be any more problems like that, Draco. I made them promise. They are going to behave and let us be," She was smiling once more and I frowned.

"You told them about us? I mean…you told them what we were doing?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, no. Not really. I just told them we were friends and that it wasn't their business. So, even if I had to force them, they won't be bothering us anymore," She confirmed.

"That's alright, I guess. It's not like I couldn't have taken them both with a flick of my wand but…I have better things to do," I explained and she smiled wider.

"I'm sure you do, Malfoy. So, you forgive me?"

I considered this for a moment and decided it was better not to discuss the matter any further. It would probably bring up my confession about how much I liked kissing those bloody full lips that were beckoning me even now.

"Yes, Granger. You're forgiven. Whatever," I rolled my eyes and she beamed.

"We're going to be late for Transfiguration," I announced as I stuffed one last bite of scone in my mouth. "I'll thank the house elves later," I continued and we both stood up.

We walked side by side towards the entrance and she stopped me just before leaving. She looked back at the empty Great Hall for a second and then pulled my face into a bold kiss. I was too shocked to kiss back, but her soft lips caressed mine with such passion that it left me feeling slightly dizzy when she pulled back and stared at me with an innocent expression.

"That…was my answer to your question, Malfoy," She stated simply and then continued to walk again. I followed her, trying to compose myself and hiding my smile.

As we climbed the stairs to the first floor, I swear I heard some steps behind us, but when I turned around, there was no one there.

I felt myself slipping back into a comfortable routine, and as much as I hated to admit it, repairing an age old magical artifact and snogging with Granger in cupboards was normality to me now.

Despite her words, Potter and Weasley didn't stop giving me death glares. I couldn't blame them, but I also couldn't help hoarding that win over them. It felt glorious.

I was leaving after dinner to go to my room and study when I heard voices echoing from down the stairs leading to the dungeons. And they didn't belong to any Slytherins.

"I don't think we should be here mate. This place creeps me out," Weasley's voice called.

"Don't worry, we'll just wait until he comes here and have a little chat. It shouldn't be long; he was finishing his dinner when we left," Potter replied and I smirked to myself. They were waiting for me to ambush me.

 _Hermione is going to be so upset; I probably won't even have to hex them myself._

"Right. So when he comes, I'll hold him down and you can go to town. I'd go for his face first if I were you. Then we can switch," I took two steps and leaned in closer to catch what the redhead was saying.

"No, Ron! I told you we can't hurt him. Hermione would lose it with us. I just need him to know we're keeping an eye on him. Despite what she says, I don't trust him and still think he's up to something. It'll be a quick conversation,"

"I can't believe Hermione _wants_ to spend time with the ferret. This is all our fault; we shouldn't have let her do this in the first place and get all weird and attached like girls usually do,"

"Yeah, well. Now we can't stop it. I just want to make sure he knows this doesn't mean he gets a free pass with us,"

"If he hurts her I'm going to stun him all the way to Malfoy Manor and back. Maybe try his father too while I'm at it."

As Weasley finished talking I felt a pair of small, cold hands covering my eyes. I slipped my hand into my pocket and turned abruptly, pointing my wand at the person.

Pansy took a step back with a devious smile across her face.

"Why so jumpy? Spying on someone?" She mocked and I lowered my wand, releasing the breath I was holding.

"Wait. I think I heard something. Maybe it's him," Potter's voice said and I lunged forward, taking a hold of Pansy's wrist and pulled her away from the stairs, until we were far enough not to be heard or seen.

"What is happening? Was that Harry Potter down in the dungeons? What's he doing there?" She asked.

"I don't know. Looking to get himself hurt apparently. How are you Pansy? How is everything?" I replied, trying to keep the subject away from what just happened.

"Fine, I guess. Trying to keep up with class and everything. How are you? Busy, uh?"

"Yes, you know. Like any other student. There's actually something I need to do right now. Some homework for Mr. Flitwick. I'll catch up with you later, alright?" I offered her a smile and turned on my heel.

"If you're looking for Granger, I saw her at the library just a moment ago," She called from behind me and I froze up.

Slowly, I turned my body and then my head to face her again.

"What? Why would I be looking for Granger?" I frowned but she rolled her eyes.

"Don't lie to me Draco. It's obvious. I can read _you_ like a book," She retorted and I dropped my shoulders.

"What do you mean?" I said, lowering my voice in case Potter and Weasley decided to come snooping in.

"I saw you two," She confirmed and I felt my stomach drop and my throat tighten.

Pansy shook her head slowly and cupped my face with her cold hand.

"Don't panic Draco. Everyone saw you. I thought you knew it,"

"What?!" I almost yelled and she retreated her hand.

"Well yes, you were right there in the middle of the school yard in broad daylight. I noticed you two by the lake when I came down with Blaise and Nott. You were hardly concealing it,"

"Oh," I replied, relieved. She was talking about the lake. She didn't see anything else.

"What's the deal with her? I thought you hated each other. Nott almost threw up when he saw you talking cheerfully to _her,_ " She folded her arms and cocked her hips to the side.

"It's nothing, really. She was just helping me with some homework, that's all," I shrugged.

She narrowed her eyes and searched my face. After a minute she raised one eye brow at me.

"You want to shag her, don't you?"

My eyes widened at her words "You're daft," I declared and she smiled.

"I'm not. I know you. You want to fuck her. It's probably some sort of twisted challenge you have set up with yourself. It's totally the kind of thing you would do. I just never thought you'd do it with Granger,"

After a moment of consideration I realized I would Never get my own way with Pansy, so playing along was the only option.

I sighed. "Alright, yes. You caught me," I raised my hands next to my head in defeat.

She rolled her eyes again. "Boys. I can't believe you would go this far just to have sex with someone. What about Astoria Greengrass? She was all over you last year. It wouldn't take this much trouble," She suggested.

"Well, you know me. I wouldn't want something _that_ easy. Besides, Granger's older and hotter," I smirked and she cringed.

"I guess. If you look past the rabid beast sitting on the top of her head,"

"And she has this bossy sort of personality. I bet she's all kinds of kinky," I said leaning closer to Pansy. She immediately stepped back and wrinkled her nose.

"Ew, you're sick. Don't give me any more details; I don't want that image in my head,"

"I want her to boss me up all night and," I started but she covered her ears with her hands and started to chant "Stop stop stop stop!"

I laughed and she lowered her hands, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I get it. I don't want to hear any more. I just hope you get her soon; it's too weird seeing you with her to even think about,"

"I'll try to speed things up. Please don't say anything to Blaise or Nott, or anyone else for that matter. They will just make it harder for me." I requested and she nodded.

"Yeah sure," She smiled a little.

"Thanks for understanding," I offered and pulled her into a hug.

"I don't understand. I think I'll never understand boys, you're all mad. But you're my friend. So, I guess I'm rooting for you,"

"Thanks anyway,"

"Yeah, yeah. Go find her before I regret this whole thing," She said finally and I smiled again before walking away towards the library.

When I walked in there, I saw Hermione sitting cross-legged on a chair, a quill perfectly positioned over her right ear, holding her hair back a little, and biting her pinky finger with her perfect teeth, deep in concentration with a book in front of her.

In that instant, I forgot why I was there at all. I had the remote idea that I had meant to tell her about Potter and Weasley, but the thoughts flew out of my head as I walked determined towards her.

"Draco. What's going on? Are you alright?" She asked when I stepped next to her, my eyes focused. I took a hold of her arm and pulled her to stand up, and from there, I walked her to the far end of the library, just in front of the door leading to the restricted section. I made sure no one was there before I pressed her up against it and crashed out lips together.

She melted into my kiss and replied with the same strength, sending a shiver down my spine.

Between kisses, she softly pulled back and whispered. "Littera,"

The door behind her slowly began to open and I smiled at her. She returned the smile and we walked in together, the door closing behind us.

I managed to return a book I'd gotten weeks earlier, just after kissing her against every bookshelfs for an hour and a half.

As days went by, things started to become weirder and weirder around me. By the middle of March, everyone knew I had become friends with Hermione Granger. First years eyed me up in fear as I walked through the school's halls, people whispered behind my back in every class, and even teachers gave me suspicious looks every time they could. No matter how hard I tried to deny myself how weird this all was, everyone else made it impossible for me.

"I feel like I must ask you this, Mr. Malfoy," Snape began when we were at our second meeting in the Room of Hidden Things. He only had time to help me a few hours a week.

"What is happening with your friendship with Miss Granger? Is this part of your plan? Should I intervene?" He continued and his eyes pierced mine uncomfortably for a while.

"There's no need for you to intervene, Professor. She is not part of my plan at all. I have it all under control," I answered and he nodded subtly.

"I would be careful if I were you, Mr. Malfoy," Snape was now facing the window, his eyes unfocused and his wand dangling lifelessly in his large hand. "Girls like her, tend to be trouble…for boys like you," He finally declared.

No matter how much I tried, for the nights that followed, I couldn't shake the feeling that he meant 'boys like us.'

Hermione and I had made an arrangement to meet by the door of the Restricted Section one night. I was eager to relax and wind down with her after a tough day of class. I wore my best robes, put on my favorite perfume, and combed my head in a careless way. She was going to ruffle it in a few minutes anyway.

The corridors were empty and particularly warm that night, as I made my way to the library. I knew I would encounter no one, as this was Hermione's turn to patrol this part of the castle. I loved the idea that I had influenced her enough to forget her Prefect duties to fool around with me, and even use them to facilitate the whole thing. I had walked in and corrupted her perfect little world.

Sure enough, she was waiting by the door. It was dark and I could barely make out the outline of her body. She was perfectly still and beautiful, and it was only when I was a few meters away when I realized something was wrong.

"Hermione…what," I began but stopped at the shock. Her eyes were full of tears, her jaw clenched tight and frowning with such force I thought she might snap in half.

"What's happening?" I asked trying to reach her but she stepped back.

"Where the hell have you been?" She hissed and I frowned.

"What? I was in my room getting ready and I had class before. You know that," I replied

"I don't mean right now. Where have you been the past couple of days?" She demanded with more force now and I shook my head.

"If you're going to treat me like your fucking pet, I'm going to be out of here before you can say hippogriff,"

"Ron's been poisoned!" She yelled at me and I stood frozen for a second before my eyes widened and almost chocked on my own saliva.

 _Could this be the same poison? No. It couldn't be. It had nothing to do with Weasley. There is no way._

"So? What are you screaming at me for?" I barked back and she took a step towards me and eyed my face dangerously. She suddenly reached into her pocket and produced a roll of parchment and shoved it into my hands.

"What's this?" I asked as I opened the parchment slightly and witnessed a map of the school's library, empty except for a small pair of black footsteps facing each other. My name was written next to the first pair and Hermione's next to the other. My eyes widened again, but bigger this time. I shook my head vigorously in disbelief.

"Answer me! What in Merlin's bloody beard is this?!" I shook the parchment in my hand and she snatched it back from me.

"I've seen you disappear the last couple of days. One moment you're there and the next, you're gone! Where are you going? What are you doing? It doesn't make any sense!" She ranted.

"That thing tells you were I am?" I said pointing at the map in her hand "What is it?!" I demanded again and she shoved it back into her pocket.

"If you must know, I borrowed it from Harry a few days ago. His father left it for him," She shrugged "But that's not the point! You've been disappearing and it's not supposed to work like that! And now Ron's been poisoned!" She screamed again and I covered her mouth with my hand but she immediately slapped it away.

"Do you want to get us caught by Filch? Is that it? Shut your mouth before he does and explain that thing to me," I pointed at her pocket again. "I can't believe Potter plays god with an obviously illegal object in the school grounds. What does it show? It can't be everything! Let me see it again." I reached out my hand but she shook her head.

"You're the one to talk! Where have you been disappearing to? Are you leaving Hogwarts? And if that's so, how are you doing it?" She snapped and I felt anger swimming through my veins. She was absolutely infuriating.

"I don't give a shit about what you think I did, Granger, but I had nothing to do with your friend getting poisoned. Knowing his past experiences with magic, he probably did it to himself," I sneered and she slapped me across the face so fast and hard, I barely had a second to realize what had happened.

"How dare you?" We both growled at the same time and then stood in silence for a minute, just watching each other's faces in the dark, seeing the array of emotions surfacing in our eyes. Her anger faltered for a second and some guilt seemed to be displayed instead. But when she spoke, her irritation came back, full force.

"Ron's an incredible wizard and someone did this to him! He drank the poison in Slughorn's quarters, for your information, so there was no way he could have done this to himself. If Harry hadn't been there, he would be dead now!"

I swallowed hard and tried my hardest not to let my fear show. It had been the same poison. The idiotic Professor had failed to deliver it to the headmaster and gave it to the poor fool that Weasley was. It had been my fault. But there was no way…no way anyone could find out it was me.

I opened my mouth to speak but she interrupted me. "And I hardly think that poison was meant for Ron. It was all an unfortunate coincidence, but someone did poison the professor's beverage." She argued and I clenched my fists and stepped even closer to her now. If I leaned in, I could have kissed her.

"And you think that someone is _me?_ " I asked. "Why would I want to poison him? Why do you suspect me at all? I thought you trusted me!" I raised my voice and she sighed.

"Because…" She looked at my eyes with that familiar fire I had been witnessing for the last months. It melted me inside. It gave me chills. It made me lose my breath. And it confused me endlessly.

She seemed to struggle with herself for a minute and then dropped her shoulders and her gaze.

"There is no one else to suspect from, Draco," Her voice lowered and she seemed almost sorry from having to admit that.

"So you suspect me. What have I done to deserve that? Was it offering my help when you had a late homework? Or maybe making you feel better when you were crying? Was it admitting I was wrong about you? Or apologizing to you? Perhaps it was sneaking, lying and hiding from others just so I could get a few moments to be alone with you and do something I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams: have a secret relationship with Hermione Granger. So tell me what have I done to earn your accusations? Was I too civil to Potter? Too much of a friend to you? Too respectful of your wishes?"

My voice still echoed in the walls. She was stunned, her eyes wide and her mouth on a thin line. The tears had dried over the course of our argument, but now they were resurfacing slowly, and I could see her shaking slightly.

"They tell me I'm wrong about you. They've been telling me since the beginning of the term. I defended you and I befriended you. But now I see what Harry had been seeing; you're disappearing mysteriously and frequently. I don't understand what it means. You won't tell me what is it, so why should I trust you?" She asked and my stomach dropped once more. All I could think about was _Please don't be over. Please don't leave me alone._

But I couldn't show it. I had to be strong. There was more at stake than just my _thing_ with her. My life was at risk; as well as other's.

"Because," a very grave voice came from behind me. Hermione looked over my shoulder in shock and I turned around following her gaze. Snape was walking slowly towards us form the end of the corridor.

"I can attest for him," Snape declared when he was close enough. He stood there, moving his eyes form me to Hermione, his expression serious.

"I'm sure Mr. Malfoy has informed you that he is taking special lessons with me. These lessons take place outside of classes' usual schedule and their location is none of your business, Miss Granger. It would be highly frowned upon is someone discovered I was giving Mr. Malfoy this very special treatment, so no other teachers know about it. I trust you will keep this information to yourself, Miss Granger, as _he_ has confided you with it," He motioned to me and then to her again.

Hermione's tears had stopped streaming and she seemed calm now. Snape spoke again.

"So, I believe you have some night patrol to complete and the library seems to be in order. I will escort Mr. Malfoy back to our dungeons so you can finish your duties. Needless to say, this 'encounters' can't happen again. I told you once, Mr. Malfoy," He addressed me and I removed my eyes from Hermione.

He eyed me suspiciously. "You two are no good for each other. It will only cause trouble. So I trust your judgment," He turned to Hermione "Actually, both of your judgments, to stop this before someone besides me finds out,"

I gave her a side stare but she continued to look at Snape. "You're dismissed, Miss Granger. Go," He commanded and she nodded, leaving immediately, not looking behind. Not saying goodbye.

Snape and I walked in silence to the Slytherin Dungeons. When I was about to go to my room, he called my name softly and I turned around.

"The next time you have a secret to protect…don't display it so…openly…in a place like The Great Hall. There's always _someone_ watching," He concluded and disappeared. I took in a sharp breath of realization and cursed under my breath.

I had nightmares again that night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

A figure was walking along the path leading to Malfoy Manor. I could barely make out her petite figure. She had her back to me and was strolling happily towards the house, apparently unaware of my presence. As I got closer, I caught a glimpse of my mother's emerald robes. I smiled instinctively and ran up to her, watching my feet pound on the soft grass. I looked up again, expecting to see my mother's characteristically blonde hair cascading down her back, but instead, Hermione's curls were bouncing merrily on the girl's shoulders. I stopped in my tracks. She was wearing my mother's clothes, and looking surprisingly beautiful doing so. But why? Where was my mother? Why were we here?

I followed her quietly, still unsure if she could hear me or not, and felt breathless as I saw her enter the threshold of our house. My house. My parent's house.

She seemed to know her away around, slowing her steps as she climbed the stairs and I walked right behind her, confirming that she couldn't hear me. My steps seemed to make no noise, my fast breathing passing unnoticed. Hermione continued determinedly down the hall, until she reached the door leading to my room.

"No!" I screamed behind her. No one entered my room besides me. Not even my mother. It was the only real privacy I got, and it was about to be corrupted. I couldn't stop her of course, she didn't hear me. Her fingers grabbed the doorknob and twisted it lightly, pushing forwards. The door opened with a creak and she stepped inside. I felt hopeless, desperate; like someone was about to see my very soul.

I stood by the door frame and was taken aback by what I saw. My room wasn't my room. At least not the one I expected. It was my room at Hogwarts. It was my shared room at the Slytherin Dungeons. An exact copy, with high ceilings, small windows and four beds, covered with green sheets. There was no one inside except for Hermione and myself.

I tensed up when I noticed she was walking to my bed. I didn't understand why, but a crippling fear overcame me and I started shaking and tried to make my way towards her but my legs didn't want to move. I clenched my fists as I watched her sitting on my bad, grazing the sheets lightly with her hands and smiling. I couldn't shake the feeling that something terribly bad was about to happen. She looked impossibly beautiful and happy, sitting comfortably in the same bed I've used for years, and yet, I knew this wouldn't last long. It was too good to be true.

Hermione reached under the bed suddenly and my fears materialized as she pulled a copy of the book about Poison I had gotten months earlier. I knew it couldn't be true; I had returned that book already and I didn't keep it under my bed, but there she was, holding it with an unreadable expression on her face. She clutched it harder and closed her eyes, just as tears began falling from her face. She sobbed quietly for a while, and I continued to shiver and try to move, but it was impossible. After a while she opened her eyes and slowly but surely began eyeing me up. She looked at my feet, my knees, my legs, my stomach, my chest and finally, my eyes. She was finally discovering me. It was as if she looked at me for the first time in her life. Her big eyes were red and wet and full of disappointment. She was hurt, and she looked almost without repair.

My entire body felt like tumbling down and dropping to the floor but my legs were still frozen. I wanted to explain to her. I wanted to make it better, to touch her.

And just as I was sure the worse was over, another figure walked in past me and stood in front of her. Her eyes left mine and went to look at this person's face. I followed her gaze and was not prepared for what I saw. Lucius stood before her, a dark grin on his face. My father was dressed in his Death Eater attire, except for the mask. Hermione looked worried and dropped the book to her feet. She was about to reach for her wand when Lucius grabbed her arm.

"NO!" I yelled with more force now but it was futile; neither of them could hear me. I tried my hardest to move, to save her, but I could do was watch as he grabbed Hermione with both of his hands; she struggled and shook violently in his grasp, but he was stronger. Lucius slapped her hard across the face and she was crying harder, screaming louder and I could no longer hold the lump in my throat. I began to feel tears burning my eyes and cheeks.

"Stop! Please stop! No!" I continued yelling for lack of a better thing to do. Hermione was helpless and it was all my fault. Lucius pulled is wand from his pocket and pointed it at her. Without a word, she was rising in the air, levitating under the power of his wand. Her eyes were closed, her voice stopped and her body was limp. Lucius continued to smile as he levitated her in front of him, leading towards the door; towards me.

I watched hopelessly as she floated next to me, my mother's robes gazing the side of my face and smearing my tears. I could smell her for a second before she was gone, and Lucius walked behind her; his eyes thin and red like the Dark Lord's, suddenly studying mine with malice. As they got closer I felt air leaving my lungs slowly…

I woke up with a jolt in my bed. It was dark and cold and I couldn't breathe properly. It had all been a dream, I knew that now, but I was too terrified to calm myself. The room had been the same, except now I was the only one awake. I clutched the sheets around me. She had been sitting in these sheets not long ago, only she hadn't. I passed my hands through my face and hair and noticed I was sweating. I took long and deep breaths trying to ease myself, but there was no way I could fall asleep again. All I could see were flashes of the dream. Torturing me.

I sat up in my bed and punched the pillow behind me with force. I knew I couldn´t make too much noise but all I wanted was to smash my fists open against something. Tear up my skin. Let the hot, bubbling blood inside my veins escape form my body and soothe me.

I had to protect Hermione. I had to protect my mother. And I couldn't do both. And I couldn't choose.

 **Hermione's POV**

I only patrolled for half an hour after Snape told me to go. I was too unstable to continue; too tired. I went back to the common room and hid myself in the bathroom. I couldn't contain myself any longer, and I broke down crying. My eyes were already hurting from the tears I had cried earlier on, but they seemed to be never-ending, just like my headache.

I felt embarrassed, but angry. Sad but relieved. I couldn't pinpoint my emotions because it had all been too much in a very short amount of time.

One second I was diving headfirst into Malfoy's mouth and the next I was leaning over Ron's immobile shoulder at the Hospital wing. Then I basically stole Harry's Marauder's Map to spy on the boy I had been secretly snogging for months. I saw it so clearly in front of my eyes, he was disappearing, he was leaving the school, he _had_ to be the one who poisoned the mead, and yet…he wasn't.

And now, Snape. I groaned in frustration and wiped the tears from my face.

 _Get a grip, Hermione._

I had learnt a lot of things these past few years with Harry and Ron. We've been through an awful lot of fighting, fear, enemies and mysteries…but _nothing_ had prepared me for this. This complete lack of foundation…this confusion. I had no idea what was right and what was wrong anymore, and it was eating me alive. I usually always knew exactly what needed to be done; I did research and I had plans and they mostly always worked…but that was the thing…my plan had fallen apart. It was different this time; there was no clear enemy this year with us, no Quirrell, no escaped prisoner, no Umbridge…and I refused to believe a simple student like Malfoy could ever pose a significant threat. So I proposed a plan, just to prove I was right. And it wasn't that my plan didn't work… _He_ had completely crumbled it before it could have a chance to work. And I let it happen.

I let Draco Malfoy sweep me off my feet and challenge everything I'd believed about myself.

I was lying to by best friends, abusing my powers as a Prefect and losing my very secure ground for a _boy._

A very questionable boy.

I composed myself before blowing out my nose on some tissue and heading back to my room. Everyone was asleep, which was a relief since I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. I couldn't explain anyway, they would immediately lock me up in St. Mungo's psychiatric wing for the rest of my life. They wouldn't understand, they hadn't been there; they hadn't seen Malfoy eyeing me across the Great Hall. They hadn't noticed the ways in which he softly grazed against my skin. They hadn't heard him console me in the bathroom until I was smiling again. But specially, they hadn't stared into the tortured eyes of a boy who didn't want to play the same game anymore; who was tired of being who everyone expected him to be and desperately needed change. I had. That's why I kissed him, that's why I started being close to him, that's why we were friends now.

I sighed and changed into my pyjamas. _Well that's mostly why._

I also needed to get close to him as a part of my plan. I was determined to prove that Draco Malfoy wasn't the evil enemy that Harry had said, so I decided to find out more about the mysterious Slytherin, which proved to be surprisingly easy thanks to his sudden interest in me, so I took full advantage of that. I told Harry and Ron about my plans of befriending him in order to expose his true intentions, and Harry, unlike Ron, thought it was a great idea because he was certain he was right about him.

At first I only confirmed what I already knew: That Malfoy was an annoying and disrespectful prick who thought he was better than anyone else. But as the days went by, I started to see something else, something that scared me…He actually did have feelings. Real feelings like everybody else's, and they seemed genuine.

I pulled the Marauder's Map from the pocket of my robe and settled quietly into bed. I realized I had not closed it properly when I was with Malfoy, so you could still see tiny footprints all over the wrinkled paper. Almost all of them were still, sleeping, except for a very peculiar pair. Snape and Dumbledore were both pacing in the Headmaster's office. I frowned and tried to draw any conclusions from this, but all I could think about were Snape's words almost commanding us to stop whatever it was that Malfoy and I were doing. I shook my head and quickly scanned the map until I saw Malfoy's name. He was in his bed, probably asleep by now. I actually felt relieved to see his name, to know where he was, and that worried me.

I reluctantly grabbed my wand and tapped the map.

"Mischief managed," I whispered and the footprint's disappeared. I tucked the map underneath my pillow and lied back over it. Now I understood why Harry was so paranoid all the time; it was really easy to obsess over that map, to be constantly following every single person's movement until you lost sleep over it. I certainly had, the last couple of days.

It wasn't like before that I was completely sane, either. I was steadily torn between two different desires; the one that wanted to carry out my task as planned, using his interest in me as an advantage; and the one that wanted to believe that he was perfectly innocent. The indecision was driving me crazy, so I started to do everything half-assed, not really abandoning my plan, because I still caught some sketchy behavior on his part, but not making a big deal out of anything, because it really couldn't be, could it?

I stood awake for a couple of hours before my brain was too tired to keep functioning, weighting pros and cons, analyzing every possible scenario that could erupt from this, and deciding my next move. It was useless in the end, I couldn't come up with anything. That was the thing with him; he made me lose all type of control or predictability. I didn't know what would happen next time I would see him. We could either end up in a mortal fight or in a passionate kiss, and it made me lose my mind.

I had learnt a lot these past few years in Hogwarts, I had solved many riddles and deciphered many mysteries, but Draco Malfoy was the biggest of them all.

I woke up in a dizzy haze that I attributed to the fact that I had cried a lot the day before. I rubbed my temples and tried to focus my eyes, and suddenly everything that had happened yesterday came back to me. But most of all, his words.

He was hurt by the way I was accusing him and a wave of guilt washed over me, cold and sickening. But could he blame me? Wasn't he the same Draco Malfoy? The boy with blood prejudices, the boy with the Death Eater Father, the boy who liked to rummage around the dark magic section of the library. The boy I saw disappearing in the middle of a school corridor.

My eyes widened and my breath stopped. Something clicked in my head.

 _Of course. How could I have missed that?_

He was disappearing right under my nose. Right in the same floor the entire Dumbledore's Army had been disappearing for most of last year. Right in the same hall where I saw him walk alone some weeks back, when I was looking for him.

The seventh floor corridor.

I slapped my hand against my forehead and shook my head. I had been too blind trying to find excuses for everything he did that I completely missed the clues. Draco was using the Room of Requirement. Was that the place Snape was referring to? Did they meet in secret there? Was I truly the only one who knew?

Despite all the questions, there was something I was completely sure of…

They weren't merely just practicing Potions.

I returned Harry his Marauder's Map and apologized endlessly. I had been out of myself when I took it, and he forgave me after hearing that it was an essential part of my plan.

"You could have just asked, Hermione. You know I would have given it to you," He said and I shrugged.

"I know, Harry, but you would have wanted to come with me and that would have resulted in a fight, and don't try to tell me otherwise," I finished before he could interrupt me.

He faltered and I smiled apologetically and hugged him.

"I'm sorry Harry. But it was for the best, and I found out what I needed,"

"And what's that?" He finally asked, his arms still wrapped around me. We were just outside the Nursery, before visiting Ron. I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes, and sighed.

"Nothing. Draco Malfoy is doing nothing," I felt his grip on me loosen.

I don't know why I felt the need to lie to him. It had become a habit somehow; lie to Harry and Ron about Malfoy. It was mostly for their sake, they had worried too much about me from the beginning of this. From the day I told them I would investigate him to find out the truth and since then I had discovered _many, many_ truths about him, but they knew none of it. Only that he wasn't part of anything bad. Which was just a half truth…I knew he was part of something, but couldn't figure out what.

And this was mine. This was my burden and my mission to complete. This had become too personal for me to involve anyone else. I had gotten myself into the mess that is Draco and now I had to get myself out of it.

I tried to tell myself it was because I was too proud to admit defeat to Harry and Ron, but the real reason was that I didn't want this to be over just yet. I wasn't done with him. I wasn't done in the least.

I saw a glimpse of blond hair peeking out of the corner and disappear behind it. I immediately broke into a jog and followed him down the hall, trying to be quiet as my nerves kicked in. It was time to face him, I knew. No point in dragging this out.

As I got near him, my stomach dropped harder and it was hard to breathe, and I could never tell if it was because he scared me or because he aroused me, and it was probably both. I had never felt anything like it in my entire life and it was frightening because it made me do things I would have thought impossible. I wondered if he felt the same about me, sometimes.

He turned around and his eyes froze me. He probably didn't feel the same.

I sighed and walked again.

"What, you're making a habit out of following me around now?" He asked when I was close enough and he just had _no_ idea.

"No," I lied. I seemed to be lying a lot these days. "I just wanted to talk to you,"

He nodded and continued towards the library. I followed.

There were a few people there, but I ignored them as I focused on the back of Draco's head, and the way the little hairs in the nape of his neck grazed the collar of his shirt. We sat down at the far end of the library like always. He pulled a book from his bag on the floor and began reading immediately. Potions book.

"I shouldn't have accused you. I was really beaten down about Ron and lost my temper. I took it out of you and I shouldn't have," I spoke, looking at him. He shrugged without returning the look and I sighed.

"I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear me say? I was wrong. Mistaken. It was my fault,"

He looked up from the book and I swallowed hard.

"I don't need to hear you belittling yourself, Granger. I know you're guilty. I know you're sorry. I just don't care," His voice was calm and that terrified me.

"You don't care? You really did seem to care last night, when you reminded me of all the good things you've done for me these past few months,"

He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned in closer. "That doesn't mean I'm bursting with happiness just because you came crawling back to me. It's obvious you just need to redeem yourself. Apologize, lift the weight off your shoulders, clean yourself of any wrong and walk away happily, because you're such a good person, aren't you?" he sneered. I clenched my teeth.

"That's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because it's the right thing. Because I care. And not just about myself," This was probably as close as I would get to admitting I cared about him to his face.

After being so close to him for all these months, there came a point where I could no longer tell if I was doing the things I was doing to get the truth out of him, or because it was just what I _wanted_ to do. Was this even a plan anymore? Or an excuse to be around him? Did he deserve it?

I had more guilt over me than he could probably realize.

He scoffed and returned to his book.

I looked around before standing up, walking up behind him and taking the book form his hands, closed it and placed it on the table.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He snapped but I didn't flinch. His eyes were hard on mine.

I leaned in to grab a hold of his wrist and almost tripped over his bag on the floor. When I looked down I saw another book peek out from his bag. _Dark and Ancient Artifacts._ I couldn't make out the rest but it definitely looked like something that wasn't allowed in the regular library. I tried to hide my surprise as best as I could before returning to face him. I grasped his wrist and pulled him. He stood up and eyed me down as if saying 'this better be good.'

I silently pulled him behind me until we reached the door of the restricted section. I whispered the password so he couldn't hear, but made it look as if it were because I didn't want anyone else to hear. The doors opened and we walked inside. As soon as they closed, I turned to face him, stood on my toes and reached to kiss him.

He didn't stop me as I devoured his face angrily and after a few seconds, returned the kiss just as hard. He turned us around and pushed me against the door, his pants already tight with excitement. I moaned and let him kiss my neck. He seemed to forgive me just fine now.

And that was it. That was part of my plan. I was only doing this to get the information I needed. To find out why he had those books from the restricted section, books I had never seen before. To find out what was he doing in the Room of Requirement with Snape. To find out Draco Malfoy's darkest and deepest secrets.

I was sliding my hands through his back and neck and letting him set my body on fire with his touch, because it was part of my plan. Not because I wanted it. Not because I enjoyed it.

Not because I _needed_ it. At all.

Draco pulled me closer to his body and stopped kissing me to look into my eyes, searching with swollen lips and blown pupils. I almost felt like crying at the beauty of it. He kissed my forehead, my nose, and attacked my lips again, unstoppable.

I seemed to by lying at lot these days.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **Draco's POV**

I took my usual seat by the window when I entered the Runes classroom. Surprisingly, Hermione was not there yet. I sighed in relief, because I needed a moment to collect myself before she arrived. I had been preparing all day and night for this. I needed to confront her and tell her we needed to stop this nonsense. I started it, I needed to finish it, because I knew, if I let it go any longer, I would be trapped without escape. I had to admit to myself that I did start to care for the little Gryffindor bookworm, but it wasn't too late. I could still detach myself from her, I could still listen to Snape and do the right thing, the obvious thing, the thing I was meant to do the whole time. I just needed to let her go. Easy.

I felt her sit down next to me and tensed up. I cleared my throat, preparing myself to talk to her, but at that second her devilish scent came rushing towards me like a storm and I was only able to close my eyes, inhale deeply and drop my head on my hands.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I groaned in frustration, nodding. I didn't lift my head for several seconds; I didn't want to see her because it would make everything much more difficult. She inspired a raw animal instinct within me, and once those luscious lips smiled at me, it would be impossible to stop my thoughts. I would go from seeing her there next to me to imagining my hand between her thighs and my mouth on her neck within seconds.

When the lesson started I looked straight ahead and made my best effort to ignore her questioning eyes on the corner of my sight. It wasn't until I started taking notes that I noticed her eyes weren't on me. Perfect. Now I could focus again on my speech.

All air left my lungs when I felt her warm and soft hand sitting atop of me knee under the desk. This witch was going to kill me. She was going to be the death of me.

I cleared my throat again, trying to get my point across but that only made her move her hand higher up my thigh. _Fucking hell._ I never thought after our encounter last night when she devoured me like a prey, she would still feel this much need to touch me. The thought excited me and filled me with emotion and pride, but it was going to make things so difficult.

I turned my head slightly towards her and noticed she was smiling sheepishly and writing with her other hand, apparently not paying attention to my confusing struggle.

That was it. I knew I wouldn't be able to face her and tell her I needed to stop seeing her behind closed doors. Tell her I needed to stop kissing her lips, touching her hair, feeling her skin on mine. I needed to stop pretending she was mine, but I couldn't do it with her hand halfway up my thigh and a smirk on her face. So I decided to write to her instead.

I forgot about my notes and started using my parchment to communicate with her. In runes, because somehow it felt right…like a sort of tradition even thought it had only happened once before. Like it was ours.

" _Could you please take your hand off my leg?"_ I passed the parchment to her without looking and she took it silently. I heard her writing and after a few moments handed me the parchment back.

" _Why? Is it distracting you?"_ I sighed and replied.

" _Yes, Granger. It's bloody distracting. It needs to stop,"_ She smiled while she read my response and I knew I needed to be more direct than this.

" _Oh don't be such a baby it's just a hand,"_ She wrote.

" _No. I mean everything, this thing with us, it has to stop,"_ I braced myself before I passed her the parchment and tried my best not to look at her to see her reaction, but it was impossible and I noticed her body tense up at my words. She removed her hand from my leg and placed it on top of the parchment and began to write.

" _Why? It is because of what Snape said? He's not that serious, is he? We're not doing anything bad, Draco,"_ I bit my tongue and tried not to think of all the ways in which this didn't feel bad at all, but would still turn into something terrible when the time came.

" _It doesn't matter. It's fucked up and I don't want it anymore. So we're stopping,"_

It was her turn to bite her lip while scribbling her reply.

" _I don't believe you. You wanted it yesterday, what changed? Did he say something else to you? Snape can be very intimidating, but he was no right to intrude in your life,"_

" _You don't understand, Granger, so quit it. Just leave me alone from now on,"_

She didn't reply for a long time. I almost thought she wouldn't at all, but eventually she sighed and began to write.

" _Draco, please let me help you. I don't know what's going on, but I know I can help,"_ After I finished reading I felt her hand again on my knee. I turned my head completely around this time, staring at her eyes as she stared into mine, with a soft smile on her lips. I swallowed hard and placed my hand over hers. She smiled wider. I smoothly pushed her hand away from me and returned my own to the spot where her hand had been. Her smile faltered and instead her lips where a thin line. She turned to face the front of the class but I couldn't tear my eyes away. It was only when her big eyes started to get red and watery that I was able to close my eyes and drop my head, silently scolding myself. Silently hating myself. Silently asking for her forgiveness.

I lived my days according to a very detailed plan on how to avoid her. I sat myself on a different side of the Slytherin table so I wouldn't face her. I took different routes to all my classes, even though it took much longer. I took a new seat in the Ancient Runes class. I even avoided the library.

It had been just two weeks since I told her to leave me alone. And she had. Somehow, I half expected her not to follow my request. I thought her inner fire wouldn't take no for an answer, and I secretly wished she wouldn't. But again, against all odds, she had taken me by surprise and I hated how much more that made me like her. She was unpredictable in the most delectable way, and I was weaker than I ever thought. For two weeks I felt like I would crumble any second, like I would crack and run to the Gryffindor common room, and beg her to take me back.

But I knew I only needed more time. More time without her hair, back, legs, cheeks, lips, hands, eyes, voice…or bloody scent. And maybe I could be normal again…maybe I could survive Hermione Granger.

I worked very hard with Snape, trying to drain my body of magic in every session, trying to keep up with him.

"I have noticed your appearance the last few weeks has not improved at all, Mr. Malfoy. If anything, it has gotten worse. Care to tell me the reason? We seem to have made an awful lot of progress; that should make you feel better. Some might even say…proud," Snape questioned me in his disturbingly deep voice and I shrugged.

"There is no reason. It's just the way I am," I replied and he nodded.

"So I take it you have followed my advice from the other day and stopped nonsense that was going on with Miss Granger. Correct?"

I only shrugged and tried not to think about it. The mere mention of her name brought a thousand flashing images in my head, both real memories and day dreams.

"You do know she's not right for you? Or rather…you're not right for her. You would only hurt her, Mr. Malfoy. Trust me," At his words I looked up at him. His eyes were tired and sad, not angry like usual, and his posture had dropped slightly.

"How could you possibly know that? You don't know her. You don't even know me," I snapped, angered by the prospect of her being too good for me.

"Oh, but I do. I know you both too well. Tell me, how were you planning on letting her know about your interest in the dark arts? How were you going to show her this?" He motioned with his wand towards my left forearm and poked me there. I winced and he continued, eyeing me down, his face almost touching mine.

"How were you going to face her, after all this time of sneaking around in secret, and tell her that you're a Death Eater who could never possibly be with a mudblood?"

I immediately took a step back and drew my wand out, pointing to his chest.

"Stop," I demanded and he laughed darkly.

"What a poor idea, Mr. Malfoy. Please lower your wand, I am only trying to help you,"

"You don't know me. You don't know the situation!" All my sleepless nights and frustrations were catching up to me.

"I understand more that you would even believe. I _know_ how this ends,"

"No you don't!" I screamed, my voice raw. "You have no idea! I am _nothing_ like you. I don't have interest in the dark arts, I didn't choose to have this burned on my arm!" I rolled up my sleeve to display my dark mark. "And I do _not_ think she is a mudblood, so shut up before I make you!" I pointed my wand at him again and he didn't move. Didn't even flinch.

I was breathing hard and before I knew it, I had lowered my wand. We stayed in silence until my breathing evened out. His eyes weren't tired and sad anymore, but seemed more alive than before. Even hopeful.

"Perhaps this was enough for today. I will contact you for further sessions. Good evening, Mr Malfoy," He spoke as he strolled past me and left the Room of Requirement.

I slept there that night. Curled up in an old sofa, wiped out by fatigue and sadness.

The next day I woke up in a haze, blinded by the strange brightness that filled the room. I was used to waking up in the dungeons, with barely any light or warmth, but the Room of Requirement had giant windows that made my eyes hurt.

After finding the strength to sit up, I rubbed my temples and tried to focus my eyes. I would probably be late for my first class, but at least I had finally gotten some sleep.

I stood up to pick up my things and there was a note rolled on top of my bag. I took it and started reading with a frown.

" _Mr. Malfoy, I need you to pick up some books for our next meeting. You will find them in the Restricted section of the library. Be there after dawn, when everybody else has left, I have patrol duties tonight so I can't join you. The password is SCRIPTOR. You will find the names of the books in the list below. Please dispose properly of this note."_

No signature, but it wasn't needed. There was a list of 6 books, so I decided to get rid of the note later, after finding the books. I couldn't memorize all those names. I folded the note neatly and placed it in my pocket before grabbing the rest of my things and heading out.

I thanked Merlin tonight was not perfect Hermione's night to patrol the third floor; otherwise I would have to face her on my way to the library, and I didn't think I had the strength to walk away from such a familiar situation. Her and I, in the library, it just felt right in every way, like we belonged there somehow. I knew she always felt like she belonged in the library, but I had never felt I belonged anywhere, much less a school like this.

But this was okay. This was the way it was supposed to go.

I stood in front of the door to the Restricted Section and whispered.

"Scriptor,"

The door creaked open and I slipped inside, immediately casting a "lumos" and taking out Snape's note from my pocket. I needed to get this done as fast as possible.

As soon as the door closed behind me I heard a loud click and another illuminated wand appeared in front of me. I jumped and cast a wordless shielding charm. The other person was sent flying backwards until they knocked a book shelf. A feminine voice screamed.

Hermione.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled as I walked over to her.

"Me?" She replied, trying to stand up from the mess of books "You're the one who attacked me!"

"I was just protecting myself; I thought you would attack me. Is not my fault my spells are that strong," I offered her my hand and she took it, standing up.

"Why would I attack you?" She asked, straightening her clothes. It reminded me of when she did that after we finished fooling around.

"I didn't know it was you. You scared me,"

"I'm not surprised. Since when do you know wordless magic?"

I stared at her and couldn't help a smirk forming on my lips and she rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway? It's after hours and you haven't been coming to the library," She asked, cocking her hips to the side and folding her arms I front of her.

"What are _you_ doing here? It's after hours for you as well; you're not supposed to be patrolling here," I retorted.

"Well…prefects are allowed certain privileges…but it doesn't matter, I asked you first,"

"That's not true, I…" I started but then reconsidered my question "How do you know I haven't been coming to the library?"

Her eyes widened slightly and the came back to normal. "Well, you know I fancy this place, so I've noticed you haven't been around,"

"You've been waiting for me to come around, haven't you?" I asked, looking hard into her eyes this time, even though I already knew the answer.

She hesitated for a second and the sighed "Seeing as you have been avoiding me at all costs, I thought my only option was to wait at one of your usual places to try to talk…it took longer than I expected," She admitted and I smiled to myself because…bloody hell she had waited for me for weeks.

Bloody hell.

"Well, I'm not here to talk to you, so I'm sorry your wait was unsuccessful. Excuse me," I tried to walk past her but she grabbed my wrist and pulled me backwards.

"Granger! I'm serious. Let me go!" I snapped but she wouldn't budge.

"No! I'm trying to talk to you, and you're going to listen!" She yelled back and I had to close my eyes because seeing her this mad made me want to shut he up with my mouth. I had to be strong.

I quickly pulled my hand back in one smooth movement and left her standing there with her mouth open.

"Don't ignore me!" I heard he yell again from behind, but I was already where I needed to be. I pulled the list from my pocket and memorized the first two books.

"I'm still going to talk, whether you like it or not," She stomped all the way next to me, but I simply continued finding the books.

"I honestly don't understand why you did what you did the other day, and I just want to say that if Snape is involved in any way or form, you're a complete and utter idiot, because there would be _nothing_ anyone could tell me that would stop me from seeing you, because it is my decision. For a while I thought you felt the same way, because you said you had nothing to lose anymore. Were those just empty words, Draco? What the hell have we been doing? Were you just trying to shag me all this time? And now you gave up because it was taking too long? Is that it?"

She said all of that really fast, and her voice cracked in the last sentence. My brain was getting fuzzy from all this information and I needed to swallow hard and concentrate not to turn and see if she was crying. I wanted to assure her it wasn't like that, I wanted to hug her and tell her that I didn't care about sex anymore. There were things so much bigger in my life, and she had no idea.

She placed her hand on my forearm. My left forearm. She didn't know it, but she was touching my dark mark. Her pure and lovely hands over something so ugly. Over my doom.

"Alright. If this is how you want things to end, fine. But I just have one more thing to say, and then I'll be gone, if you want," Each word stung like a needle in my skin. This was it, after this she was going to be out of my life forever, and I couldn't do anything about it. Not if I wanted to live to tell the tale.

"I know, Draco. I know you're doing something…something dangerous. And I just want to tell you that…I really wish you'd stopped before you hurt yourself. There is always something to do. And I could help you. Anytime you want. Even if this ends now, you can always ask for my help,"

Her voice was quivering and she took her hand away from my arm. I felt her walk away and my insides tightened with every step.

"Wait," I heard myself say, and she stopped. I turned around and choked back tears, because she couldn't leave now. There was so much to say.

She looked straight at me with big, watery eyes, making my heart stop.

"What do you think you know?" I asked, and she slowly approached me, drying her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper.

"I…I saw the books you were carrying in your bag the other day. Dark artifacts…dark magic. You lied about the kind of books you checked out from the Restricted Section. I don't know what you're doing but,"

"This isn't what you think it is, Granger," I interrupter her "Those books are nothing more than an interest to me. You always over-analyze everything, so I shouldn't be surprised that you believe I'm some dark wizard just because of a couple of books," Great. I had just told Snape I wasn't interested in the dark arts, and now Hermione believed I did. I was completely terrified and didn't know what to do. I didn't even sound convinced.

"I don't think you're evil. I don't know what it is, Draco. But I'm going to find out," She walked towards me as she spoke, determined, on fire. She was right up against me when she continued, eyeing me up.

"And you're going to have to fight me, lock me up and Obliviate me to stop me from getting involved. Because I bloody care about you too much, Draco Malfoy," Her voice didn't crack this time. It was solid and fierce and I immediately could tell it was true. She would stop at nothing.

I couldn't do this again, it was taking too much strength being this close to her and not being able to _be_ with her. I felt the tears trying to come back, so I pushed her off of me and moved towards the door. I had to get out of there before I complicated things again. I only managed to find one book, but Snape would have to deal. I quickly reached the handle of the door and pushed, but nothing happened. I kept pushing but the door was apparently locked.

"What…" I said and dropped the book I was holding, hitting the door as hard as I could and trying not to break down.

"What are you doing?!" She asked, getting closer again.

"It's locked! The damn door is locked!" I yelled back at her and she frowned.

"No way. That doesn't happen, it doesn't lock form the inside, you must be doing it wrong,"

"How can I possibly do this wrong? It's a fucking door!"

She tried opening it but couldn't either.

"Scriptor," she called in a clear voice but nothing happened.

"Fuck!" I screamed through gritted teeth and started pounding the door again, kicking it, slamming it. Maybe I could break it.

"Stop! Draco, it's not going to work,"

"I need to leave," I breathed, my heart racing and blood boiling.

"Please, stop!" She screamed and placed both her hands on my arms. I stopped.

I couldn't remember giving up on my thoughts, I couldn't remember deciding to do anything else, but the next thing I knew, was that I was kissing her madly, with both my hands cupping her face and my body pressing her against the door. That damned door.

She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back, washing relief all over me.

Our tongues met and I was sure I was going straight to hell. She was dragging me there and I didn't have the strength to stop it; I just wanted more of her, everything, as much as I could take. I bit her lip and she moaned, her soft voice making me hard in just an instant.

"Draco…" she whispered slowly as I attacked her neck and she caressed my hair. I kissed her chin and the side of her face and she immediately pulled my back to her lips. We kissed like the first time, we kissed like last time, we kissed like we always do, because that's what we know how to do. Immerse each other in the other's mouth and hope for the best. That's certainly what I did.

After a while, I felt her hands move towards my neck, and come around to the front of my chest, to my tie. Her hands were fiddling with my tie.

 _Oh my god. She's undoing my tie._

I pulled away from the kiss to stare at her. Her hands stopped and her eyes were afraid, like I might reject her, like she might lose me with this. After the initial shock I was able to return to her lips and place my hands on her waist to assure her it was okay. She slid the tie off my neck and then she pulled away to remove her jumper. My heart was pounding in my chest, I was sure I could hear it over our desperate breathing. I took off my jumper as well and they both landed somewhere over a desk. Hermione moved her hands to the top of her shirt, to start unbuttoning but I stopped her placing my hand over hers.

"Can I…?" I asked in a low voice and she swallowed and nodded. I began kissing her again as I softly undid her buttons, one by one, making sure to remember every second, because this was finally happening and I needed to control myself if I wanted it to be as great as I imagined it would be. After I finished, I slid the shirt off her shoulders and she began working on my buttons, just as slow, just as gentle, and threw my shirt on the floor next to us. My eyes were still closed, our lips still touching and we began feeling each other's skin without looking; her round shoulders were like velvet beneath my hands.

"You're so…You're so…" I managed between kisses "Beautiful," I finished and she giggled.

"How can you know? You're not even looking?" She asked and we both opened our eyes.

"I was right," I declared with a smirk and kissed her forehead. I didn't know what was I doing, I didn't think over any of the things I did or said, all I knew was that I couldn't stop.

"Come," I said and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the desk where our clothes had landed. She stared at me with confusion and I raised my eyebrows and lifted her up by the waist, to sit her there.

"Oh," She said and blushed and I didn't waste any more time and positioned myself right up against the desk between her legs and devoured her lips again. Biting, sucking, licking and moving my hands all over her glorious body. I reached behind her and unclasped her bra and she shivered. Her skin was hot in contact with mine, but it was nothing compared to the heat of her breasts touching my chest. I couldn't help but moan into her mouth and she fisted my hair and kissed me harder. My pants were painfully tight against her inner thighs and I unconsciously began taking off my belt. I felt her inhale a sharp breath and I stopped. I remembered I needed to calm down and enjoy every single moment. I had no idea what came for my tomorrow, but she was everything in my mind now.

I pulled apart a little and I finally got to see her. Bare, almost naked in front of me, blushed and nervous. I looked her in the eye and slowly took off my shoes. Then I did my belt, unzipped my trousers and let them slid from my legs. She eyed me down and swallowed and then her eyes were on mine again. I wanted to show her we were both in this, I wanted her to know she didn't have to be nervous around me.

We kissed again and I slowly started to kiss down her face, her neck, her collarbone, and then her breasts. She caressed my hair to let me know it was okay and I continued to kiss down her stomach and belly. I unzipped the side of her skirt and she lifted her butt off the desk do I could slide it off her. Then I kissed her legs all the way down to her feet and took off her shoes. I came back up and kissed her again, more gently now but with the same purpose.

"Are you okay?" I asked between kisses and she nodded.

"Yes,"

"Do you want to do this?" She nodded again.

"Do you?" She replied and I bit her lip.

"More than anything," our voices low and deep, echoing in the empty halls of the Restricted Section.

It was funny, I thought. I always felt like we were kind of restricted too. Secret, concealed. On our own little separate section, away from everyone else, and always hiding something you wouldn't expect.

I placed Hermione's hands on the waistband of my boxers and kissed her. She caressed the area for a while and then gradually began pulling them down my body. They dropped all the way down form my knees and I braced myself; I had never been this kind of exposed before anyone, not even my own mother after I turned 12 years old. But Hermione wasn't opening her eyes, she was sliding off her own underwear and my stomach was twisting with anticipation and nerves.

I caressed her thighs and hips and then pulled her to stand up.

I picked up as much of our clothes as I could find and made a bundle to put on the floor.

"I…I think it's best if we do it this way first," I said and kneeled before her, and motioned her to kneel too. She did and we kissed, exploring each other's bodies with our hands. I slowly caressed her belly and moved my hand lower. She tensed up.

"Is this okay?" I asked and she nodded nervously. I moved my fingers and pressed them against the spot where I thought her clit was. She moaned and bit my shoulder and I thanked Merlin I was right. I kept rubbing her there and kissing every patch of skin I could reach. I gasped and grunted when I felt her fingers wrap around my cock. Her movements were unsure but I had never felt anything as good in my life.

I took my hand away and pushed her down slowly to sit. I parted her legs a little and positioned myself between them. She kept stroking me and I started to circle my fingers around her entrance. I moaned again because she felt better than in my wildest dreams; silky, wet and aroused. I looked her in the eye and she nodded lightly, so I began pushing one finger inside her. She didn't seem to be hurting so I moved it to the same rhythm her hand was working on me.

After a minute we were both panting and moving furiously and her moans told me she was ready.

She lay down with her head on top of the bundle of clothes and I hovered over her, with my arms at her sides.

"You're beautiful too," She said with a small smile and I leaned down to kiss her.

Snape was right, of course. How could I possibly be with someone like her? How was I supposed to tell her the whole truth? How could a Death Eater like me, be with a muggleborn like her?

I would have to figure out a way. Later.

I guided myself to her entrance and looked at her one last time before pushing in slowly. Her face twisted, and I couldn't tell if it was out of pleasure or pain.

"Are you," I began but she interrupted me.

"Yes, yes, go on,"

I continued, feeling her slowly accommodating me. I had been completely wrong before. _This_ was the best thing I had felt in my entire life. I buried my face in her neck and moaned there. Before I knew it, she had her hands scratching my back and rocking her hips beneath me. I didn't even notice I was all the way in.

I started to move softly while I kissed her everywhere. I dropped down my head between her breasts and licked her left nipple, making her thrust her hips even more. After a while we were moving faster, sweating, panting, ravishing each other's mouths and necks and moans getting louder.

"Draco…" She whispered against my ear, making me shiver.

I tried to move as close to her as possible, making my body brush against her clit and push her to the edge. I has already far too excited to control myself, and I just wanted to feel her orgasm.

She started to repeat my name softly, driving me even more insane.

"You sound so beautiful, Hermione, I want to hear and feel and look at you all the time…I just want…"

And the she was coming right under my body. She was shaking and thrusting and fisting my hair with force, screaming my name.

"Oh fuck…Hermione…" I grunted before I let it go, kissing her one last time before collapsing over her body.

We stayed like that for a while, catching our breaths and feeling each other's warmth.

She kissed my cheek and I smiled and rolled off her, holding her hand.

"I can't believe it," She declared

"Me neither…"

"Are you serious?" I asked Hermione, sitting across from me on the floor, deep in concentration.

"Just give me one more second," She replied, not taking her eyes away from the board between us.

"I would have thought a brain like yours could take the simple task of making a move on Wizard's Chess," I mocked and she raised her eyes to mine.

"And I would have thought a mouth like yours could shut up for five bloody seconds," She snapped.

"Don't blame my mouth, Granger. You very well now it was _your_ mouth that started this whole situation," I smirked.

"My mouth?!" She asked alarmed. "It was _you_ who kissed me first, if I recall correctly,"

"Yes but only because you wouldn't shut up," I replied and she stuck her tongue out.

After we had sex, we decided it was best to put our clothes back on in case anyone opened the door. And it was already awkward being naked in a place like this. An hour passed and we decided to play some Wizard's Chess to pass the time.

"Do you think someone will find us before morning? She asked, finally moving her knight.

"I hope. It would be better to explain this to one person than to the whole school, as it's destined to be if they open the doors in the morning,"

"Oh god," She dropped her face on her hands and rubbed her temples.

"Don't worry…I'm sure that won't be necessary," I lied and she knew it. She eyed me with disbelief.

"Oh well, I'm just trying to be positive, Granger," I paused to move my tower. "Besides, you should be really happy right now,"

"And why is that?" She asked with a frown

"Because…you just lost your virginity in a library. This should be paradise to you,"

She threw her king at me.

"Ouch!"

"You like libraries just as much as I do," She declared and smiled.

"Checkmate," I said and she dropped her jaw.

"You cheated!" She cried

"How?" I challenged, knowing she was bluffing.

"I don't know!"

"I didn't cheat. You're not too good at this,"

She was quiet for a while after that. Simply re-arranging the chess pieces in the board again, not looking at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked and she nodded, still not looking at me.

"I was just thinking…and I think I have to say this…I don't regret what we just did. But if your intention all this time was to just shag me, then,"

I was over her, kissing her before she got a chance to finish.

"Don't. Don't think that. It wasn't my intention. It isn't my intention, okay? I swear, Granger. I swear, Hermione,"

She smiled and blushed a little, and then looked down.

"You knocked over the pieces," She said and kissed me again.

Two more hours passed. It must have been around 2 in the morning, and we were both sitting with our backs resting on that blasted door. We had tried to open it about 50 times again.

"I don't understand. It doesn't make sense for this to happen, these doors don't do that. They are enchanted to open with a password and then the person inside can go out without a problem. It isn't logical to be locked like this," She spoke after a moment of silence and defeat.

I shrugged. "Maybe the door wanted us to be locked inside together,"

She snorted. "Yeah, why would the door want that?"

"I don't know,"

Maybe the door knew it was the right thing. Maybe the door knew we should be together. Maybe the door realized it had made a mistake.

 _Oh dear Merlin._

"Hermione… why were you patrolling around the third floor? Wasn't there another floor you were supposed to be watching over tonight? Or where you just pushing your duties aside to find me?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as un-amused as possible.

She rolled her eyes, just like I expected.

"Don't be so self-absorbed, Draco. I did want to talk to you, but I'm not about to break every rule to do so. Especially if I wasn't sure you were coming here tonight,"

"So, why were you here instead?"

"They asked me to exchange places with a teacher, it happens all the time," She explained.

 _Oh dear Merlin's beard._

"Did you exchange places with Snape?" I swallowed hard after that question and she frowned.

"How did you know?"

BANG.

The door suddenly burst open behind us, letting us both drop to the floor painfully.

"Ow, my head!" She complained. "What's the matter with this old useless piece of garbage?"

"Hermione," I called her, looking straight up from the floor. She opened her eyes and we both were speechless. Snape's form was looming over us, cocking an eyebrow at our bodies, lying on the ground.

"A prefect like yourself must be aware of the consequences of being found after hours in the restricted section, Miss Granger, correct?"

She nodded fervently, too petrified to talk.

"Then, I suggest you stand up and get to your house immediately, before I decide on a more severe punishment. Fifty points from Gryffindor,"

She nodded again and stood up, and I did the same.

"As for you, Mr. Malfoy. Twenty five points from Slytherin. Be thankful you're not a prefect, who should know better than regular students," He said this last part looking at Hermione. She nodded again and took off, walking fast away from us. When she was almost out of sight, she turned around to look at me and smiled again.

I contained my smile because Snape was still standing over me, eyeing me suspiciously.

"The door was locked somehow, _Professor._ We couldn't leave," I said and he didn't move.

"Does she know?" He asked after a while.

"No…I…I didn't tell her anything,"

"Hmm,"

After a minute of no more talking, I decided to leave. I was nearly out of the library when he spoke again.

"It's not too late, Mr. Malfoy,"

I took in his words and felt coldness all inside of me.

I nodded.

"Go," He commanded and I left.

Lying in bed awake that night, trying to come up with a plan, I had a feeling Snape was doing the exact same thing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I fastened my black trousers. I buttoned up my black shirt. I did my black tie perfectly. I secured my black robe over my shoulders and tied my black shoes. My whole life, people had given me black clothes for gifts. Up until Hogwarts, when they suddenly decided I couldn't use too much green. But still, the black ones were my favorite. As soon as I was allowed to buy my own clothes, I had bought nothing but black clothes. Nobody ever questioned this, no one thought it was a cause of concern, and I was glad at least one of my decisions wasn't questioned. But I had absolutely no explanation as to why I liked black clothing so much. It wasn't even my favorite color. Dark blue. But when it came to my personal look, I couldn't stir away from black.

I sat in my bed and polished my wand with a soft tissue and then used the wand to send the used tissue to the trashcan. I combed my hair with another flick of my wand and stood up, decisively walking towards the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. It was the best I had looked since…I couldn't even remember when. My eyes were still sunken, my skin slightly grey, and my form too lanky to be considered strong, but I sort of felt like it. Strong. And scared at the same time.

I cast a disillusionment charm on myself before leaving and hoped it was strong enough to last at least until I found another hiding place in an alcove or broom cupboard. The Room of Requirement was far and I couldn't afford to be seen. Not this time.

It was already four o'clock, so Dumbledore probably already left with Potter, just as Snape told me. This was the moment I had been preparing for since last year. This was what my future depended on.

The halls were particularly empty, which played well for me, but made me feel cold and afraid. I reached the seventh floor corridor and stood before the wall. I closed my eyes and wished, for the last time, for a place to hide my secret. As the door opened, I felt a sudden breeze pass by me, making my shiver violently and turn around. It was as if someone had suddenly sprinted behind me, but making no noise at all. I turned back again and entered the room, feeling the doors close behind me. I took in the musky smell of the room; a thousand years of hidden crap. It probably had a self-cleaning charm, or it would be impossible to breathe.

I approached the cabinet and placed my hand on it and felt a tingling of magic travel through my arm. It was ready. Or, as ready as it would be. Exactly like me. I slowly started to murmur the spell that would activate it, but without doing the wand work yet. I was too nervous and my mind could fail me any second. I needed to remember this just right.

After a few tries, I was done. I raised my wand, closed my eyes and repeated the spell once more, pointing at the cabinet and gripping my wand tightly, feeling the magic flow through it.

"So this is it," A voice whispered behind me, making me jump higher than I thought was possible, and I nearly knocked over the cabinet. My heart was hurting for the speed at which it was beating, and I lost all the air in my lungs when I realized it wasn't just any voice.

I glanced at the direction of the voice but there was nothing there. A million possibilities raced through my mind and in a split second, she was there. Well, just her head, floating just a meter from me. She was crying, her eyes big and upset, accusing me.

"What the bloody hell," I exclaimed and she proceeded to remove the rest of the fabric covering her body and appearing whole in front of me.

"It's a vanishing cabinet isn't it?" Her voice was broken but still loud.

"Fuck…fuck, Granger you have to get out of here!" I started to panic because they would be here any second and if they saw her…oh no. I reached towards her to grab her but she avoided my hands.

"I can't believe you went through with this….I…Who are you bringing here, Draco?!" She screamed I felt coldness in my stomach. I had to hide her; she couldn't die because of me. She wouldn't. I had the sickening feeling that I would fight them if they tried to harm her. That would be the end for both of us, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

"Please, Hermione, fuck, you have to hide right now! They…they can't see you,"

"Who are they Draco? What have you done?!" She screamed even louder, tears decorating her lashes.

I quickly grabbed her shoulders, trying to make her stand still.

"I will tell you everything. I swear. It's gonna be okay. I just need you to hide," I was cut off by the cabinet shaking behind us. "Fuck. Fuck. Please, just do it and it'll be alright, I promise. Please, Hermione…If I ever meant something to you…just trust me one last time," I pleaded with all my strength, my heart stuck on my throat.

Her big eyes were red and glassy. The cabinet was rattling. I was desperate.

"If they see you…" My own eyes watered at the thought and it was impossible to stop it. "I can't let it happen, Hermione…and they will win. I can't take them. I can't defend you…I swear to god, if I could…but I can't. They will kill us both and then…I can't let it happen, I love you and you won't die because of me. You need to hide right now…I can't, I can't, I can't…" I kept repeating this and shaking my head desperately, trying to get a hold of myself and I suddenly felt her grip on my arm.

I stopped talking and looked at her. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was serious. She bent down and picked up the fabric that was at her feet, and with one last look, she pulled it over herself and disappeared. I looked at the spot, knowing she was there, knowing she could see me and nodded as I removed the tears from my face. Fuck, she was going to kill me. I took in calming breaths and stood straight before the cabinet, rattling with more force now.

The door creaked open.

Her long and black boots stepped over first. Her smile was wide and maniac when she saw me and a shiver went down my spine.

"My dear Draco…" She whispered, walking over to me as someone else stepped outside the cabinet. She hugged me, her long hair covering my face. I tried my best to look normal. She pulled away and looked into my eyes. She pouted.

"Aw, don't tell me little Draco is nervous…you have done so well, dear. _He_ will be pleased…" Her cold voice made me want to cry even more, but I cleared my throat and answered.

"I'm not nervous, just tired. Is everybody out yet?" I asked, looking past her at the cabinet. About six Death Eaters had walked through the cabinet and were now standing in front of us, smiling, or simply contemplating the place. Most of them probably went to Hogwarts at some point or another. Bellatrix laughed excitedly as she joined the others, who were now all looking at me.

"You know the plan. I will go first and wait for Dumbledore at the Astronomy Tower. You will wait until after he arrives, we need the element of surprise so,"

"Yes, yes," Bellatrix interrupted me. "We remember your little plan, Draco. Don't worry; we will keep busy until then…" She said, looking around the place with a look that could set it on fire.

"Snape will come for you when the time's right," I concluded and turned around, giving a meaningful look to the spot where Hermione disappeared, hoping she was still there, hoping she'll understand, hoping she'll follow me.

I walked outside of the room, leaving the door open for a few seconds more than I needed to, before letting it close on its own. Hermione removed the fabric once again and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her behind me as I began running "Come on!" I explained and she followed.

We ran in the direction of the Astronomy Tower, but before we could reach the staircase, she pulled me to a stop.

"Draco! Wait!" She exclaimed, her eyes desperate, her voice rasped. "You need to tell me what's going on!"

"I will, just…we need to get up there, no one can see us together, not yet, I don't trust them, I don't know if they'll stay there like I told them to…" I explained and began pulling her again, running up the stairs as fast as I could.

When we reached the top, it was empty just like I hoped it would be. We still had a little time. Just a little more.

I was breathing fast as I finally released my grip on her wrist.

"Tell me what you've done…Draco," Her voice was just as impatient and angry as it had been before and she looked expectantly at me, still catching her breath.

I avoided her eyes as I began talking "For the past 9 months, I have been reconstructing a magic vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement,"

"To bring Death Eaters into the school…I bloody knew you were up to something bad…I knew it and I didn't stop it…you…you…" She interrupted me and I began to feel anger bubbling inside me.

"Could you just let me finish, Granger? Fuck, if you really did know it how come you didn't stop me earlier?" I spat and she frowned.

"I couldn't. I tried. I followed you, I searched for every clue that you might have left, I even tried to decipher those books you were reading…but I couldn't…" Her voice was low and she didn't meet my eyes.

"You followed me?" I was genuinely shocked. "Is that why you spent time with me? To try and 'decipher' my plans?" I asked offended and she shook her head.

"No…I mean…at first, yes. But then, no," She raised her head and looked at me. "Don't give me that look, it wasn't like that. I was only trying to prove to Harry that you weren't doing anything wrong,"

"Ah, yes, of course it was all thanks to Potter almighty. Tell me, did the three of you got a kick out of sharing my personal life details? Did you sit around with them and told them about what I did every day, after you stalked me? Did you mention the way you started seducing me in order to get close to me? Did you disclose our conversations and laughed about them? Did you told them about how you planned to shag me to get information?!" I spat angrily and she was crying again.

It was all a charade, and the worst thing was…I couldn't even tell her I had been the honest one. We were both fucking liars.

"I never told anything to anyone. You are my best kept secret, Draco Malfoy. Because as much as I wanted to believe I was doing all those things in order to find out about your plans…I couldn't. It's a lie I have been trying to feed myself for these past months. But I didn't do them to find out anything. I did them because I wanted to. Because _you_ made me fall in this bloody mess of lies and secrets and broom cupboards. So fuck you if you think any of those things were a game to me. I might have lied and had hidden intentions with you before, but that was over months ago! _You_ were the one who has lied right until this very moment, right now. Here we are, hiding from a bunch of Death Eaters as you wait for Dumbledore, and then what? Kill him? Is that what you plan to do? Is that what you have been trying to do?" Her voice cracked and I felt sick to my stomach.

"It's what I have to do! I never wanted any of this! Don't you understand? I have to do this!" I yelled and stomped over to her while exposing my left forearm to her. She glanced down and saw the dark mark and gasped.

She shook her head softly and pulled down my sleeve again. "You always have a choice," She replied softly.

"In your perfect little Hermione world, maybe. But I am not you. I am not Weasley and I am not Potter. He made it very clear…if you don't do this, your family dies. Your mother dies. You die. So yes, I am sorry for lying to you, but it was never a matter of being saved. You couldn't have done anything, I was doomed," I was very close to her face now. She seemed at a loss of words and struggling with herself to say something.

"You…you said it'd be alright. You swore it was going to be okay," She couldn't stop the flow of tears. "How can it be, if you kill him? It's never going to be alright," She hugged me after the last word and I inhaled sharply in the deep and sweet scent of her hair. I held her tightly and tried to calm her down.

"It will be okay," I said again and heard a noise in the distance. I raised my head and spotted two figures on brooms approaching the tower. I cursed under my breath. I only wished for a few more minutes with her.

"What?" She asked alarmed, pulling away from my embrace.

"I'm really sorry, Hermione." She smiled at my words and I quickly pointed my wand at her.

"Petrificus Totalus!" And she was still. She didn't even have time to be surprised, her smile was still on. I carried her away, to a small corner where nothing could hit her, took the invisibility fabric she had dropped on the floor and covered her with it.

"Again, I am really, really sorry about this. It's the only way," I said again and hid on the stairs. After a while I heard Dumbledore and Potter arrive. Dumbledore put the full body-bind on Potter as well. I breathed in deeply and stepped out.

"Draco," He said, not surprised. I pointed my wand at him and shouted "Expelliarmus!" And his wand flew from his hand.

We both were quiet for a very long time, just looking at each other. Finally, he spoke.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this, Draco. It certainly isn't fair,"

I only shrugged and nodded. I wasn't very fond of the man, but I didn't want to kill him, not even a little bit. And this moment had terrified my dreams and nightmares for more nights than I could count. I was finally here, and it was very different from what I had imagined. I imagined dread, confrontation, a fight. A battle with the world's most powerful wizard. Or so they said. I didn't care anymore. But Dumbledore wouldn't fight me. He wouldn't have fought me even if he thought I really did want to kill him. But he knew, of course. He knew even before I did that I didn't want this even for a second.

"I really wish there was another way…But life sometimes makes us drift towards unthinkable destinies. I suppose you never imagined in your wildest dreams that you and I would end up here, on an evening like this…" He continued, in his very characteristic tone.

I shook my head and looked down. My wand was still pointed at him. There were footsteps behind me, climbing up the staircase. They were coming.

I glanced up nervously and saw Dumbledore smile.

"I'm very proud of you, Draco,"

I nodded. "Thank you, Headmaster…I'm…thank you," I declared and he smiled once more before his expression became serious and sober. I turned around and saw the first few faces appear behind me. Bellatrix. Fenrir, Amycus. They all stood behind me, smiling and patting my back.

"Good job, Draco…" Bellatrix laughed as she glanced at Dumbledore. He certainly did look weaker than I had even seen him before, but that was not thanks to me.

"Good evening, Bellatrix," Dumbledore commented casually but she just kept on smiling.

"Do it, Draco. This is your time. Your moment has come…do it!" She repeated and I tried my best to look as if I was enjoying this. For a split second, I considered actually doing it. How hard can it be? They are just words, right? And for a very long time, I had convinced myself I could do it. If it wasn't with the cursed necklace, it would be with the poison. If it wasn't with the poison it would be this. Everything I had done had brought me to this moment, and it would be so easy now to complete what I started. So simple, just two words and my life would change forever.

But I couldn't do it.

"What are you waiting for? Do it!" She screamed again and I gripped my wand tighter.

 _Just hold on. Just one more minute. Don't let them break you._

"Calm down, Bellatrix. I'm sure we can work this out," Dumbledore said and she laughed manically.

"He was chosen. There's nothing you can do to avoid this, old man. Today, you die," She replied and Dumbledore only nodded. "Do it, Draco!" She repeated.

I heard footsteps behind me. I took in a deep breath and bit down in any desire I had to start crying.

Snape appeared next to me. He eyed me with contempt and then tore his eyes away from me. Bellatrix was laughing even harder now, watching the way Dumbledore was looking at Snape; his eyes small and desperate, his lips quivering, his voice small and broken.

"Severus…" Dumbledore said, almost inaudible. Snape stepped before me, pushing me aside with decision.

Bellatrix laugh echoed throughout the school.

"Severus…please."

"Avada Kedavra!" Snape's voice roared with a force I had never heard before. Not regret, not fear, not sadness. Just, strength.

Dumbledore's body fell down and down until I couldn't see it anymore. I felt cold all over and all I wanted to do was find her and leave. Change names. Change country. Grow old together where all of this could be forgotten.

Bellatrix jumped happily and casted the dark mark over the castle. Snape grabbed the collar of my robe in a fist and pulled me to run behind me.

"No! Wait!" I cried and he stopped surprised.

"We need to hide as soon as possible," he said. All the Death Eaters were starting to descend the stairs, casting curses and spells all around the place, destroying, celebrating.

"She's here. I can't leave her behind," I whispered as low as possible and Snape scoffed.

"Why am I not surprised," He declared and I stepped away from his grip to find her.

"Finite Incantatem!" I pointed my wand at her and she removed the invisibility fabric. She didn't even look at me. Her eyes were fixed on Snape, with such rage and fury; I thought she might make him explode with her eyes alone.

"You better explain yourself right now!" She yelled but I shushed her.

"Fuck, Granger, can you keep it down? There's a whole school full of Death Eaters!"

She gave me a side glance and relaxed for a moment.

"Snape and Dumbledore had all of this planned out. It was the only way to maintain Snape's position of trust with the Dark Lord. Dumbledore told him to do it. He asked him to," I explained and she looked at Snape again. His expression was blank, impossible to read, and he didn't care for Hermione's attitude.

"If truth time it's over, I suggest we continue with our plan,"

"How could you?!" A voice interrupted Snape and we all turned around to see Potter running decidedly towards us, his wand pointed at Snape.

Snape blocked the wordless spell and stepped in front of Hermione and me to protect us.

"Harry, no!" She yelled and tried to make her way around Snape to stop him.

"He trusted you!" Potter yelled and fired another spell, which Snape blocked easily.

"Calm down!" Snape instructed, but it wasn't until Hermione escaped and ran towards Harry that he did.

"Hermione…" He was speechless and she hugged him. "Hermione, what's going on? It was Snape! Did you see it? He killed Dumbledore, he killed him!" Potter roared with a desperation and anger that made my own chest tighten with pain.

"I know, Harry, I know," She started crying again.

"Why are you here? Did they do something to you? Did _he_ do something to you?" He asked, pointing his wand at me this time. I scoffed.

"Please, Potter. Save it for the press, we have more important things to do now," I replied

"No, Harry! It was me, I came here…I took your cloak and I followed Draco here…"

"Draco?" Potter asked in disbelief.

"He didn't do anything, Harry. I saw it all. He wasn't going to kill him, it was all a plan, it was all…Dumbledore planned this," She managed between sobs.

Potter looked around confused.

"No…He wouldn't do that. No, I saw him kill him! Dumbledore pleaded, and you still killed him!" He yelled again.

"No, Harry. He asked him to do it. It was the only way. Don't you remember? Right before the others came in…Dumbledore let Draco disarm him. He didn't fight, he didn't struggle. He _knew._ He told Draco he was proud of him,"

At this, Potter lowered his wand and loosened his grip on Hermione. Snape refused to look at him.

"No…"

"Yes, Harry. Snape's on our side. And so is Draco…" She looked at me and I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. It was all going to get really hard from here. "Trust me Harry. But there are more important things right now…The Death Eaters are on the loose around the school. We need to stop them!"

"No," Snape finally spoke and we all looked at him. "I will get them out of the school, you are not to fight here, it's too dangerous,"

"But, what about us? What do we do now? What happens to Draco?" Hermione asked and looked at me.

"I'm sure Mr. Potter knows what to do next. Dumbledore left him with an important task," Potter looked absolutely devastated and Hermione was supporting him with one arm.

"As for Mr. Malfoy…I will escort him to a safe place for now. It's too dangerous for his true allegiances to be revealed now, so if you know what's best, you will keep that information to yourselves,"

Hermione couldn't stop looking at me with desperate eyes and my stomach was all in knots. I knew eventually we would have to separate, no matter the choice I make. It was just my doom.

Potter nodded and started walking towards the railing.

"Do not torture yourself, Mr. Potter. There will be time for mourning,"

Snape glanced between Hermione and me, still looking at each other, and I swore I heard the faintest sigh from his mouth.

"Come on, Mr Potter. I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will be thrilled to see you trying to curse me. I might even pretend you hit me…once," Snape declared as he moved towards the stairs. Potter went to follow him.

"Sir?" He asked, confused.

"You might want to start acting angry towards me again. We need to keep up the appearances, Potter."

Potter smiled very slightly and nodded. He turned around to look at Hermione.

"Don't worry, Harry. I'll be right there," She assured him and he eyed me up and down before nodding and following Snape.

"Just don't try to use my own spells against me, Mr. Potter," I heard Snape tell him, his voice slowly disappearing as they went down the stairs.

Everything was an act. Everybody was always up to something.

I walked towards her when we were alone. I touched her cheek.

"I'm sorry," I said, again.

"I know. I just thought…after all of this, maybe you wouldn't have to leave,"

"There is no other way. I don't like it either,"

She nodded and stepped closer, the top of her head grazing my chin.

"If you would have told me sooner," She began but I shook my head because I knew where this was going.

"Nothing. You wouldn't have been able to do a thing. This is bigger than us. No matter what I chose, it was always going to end up badly. It was always going to end up with me, leaving,"

She shook her head this time. "No. It's not the same. If you had killed him…you would still be leaving. But it wouldn't be like this. We wouldn't be like this," She hugged me.

"I guess. I just don't…want to leave you. I don't know what could happen. I need to see you again," I hugged her hard and felt her tears soak my robes.

"We just need to keep making the right decisions. And we will see each other again. I promise, Draco,"

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep away from you. No matter what happened, something always pulled me right back here. And because you have changed, so much,"

I scoffed and she pulled away a little to look at me eyes.

"It's true. You're not the same person I knew a year ago. And I know you don't believe it, but I think you're worth it. You have shown me you are. So, as long as you want it too, I will fight for this. I will fight for you,"

I kissed her hard on the lips. My hands holding the sides of her face, my mouth trying to remember every last bit of feeling and taste. She fisted my robes and pulled me closer. We kissed until I could no longer breathe. We kissed for minutes and for centuries and in a moment, I didn't even care if someone walked in on us.

We pulled away, but it was too hard not to remain close, touching, feeling.

"I will fight for you too. I was about to anyway. Down in the Room of Requirement," I said breathlessly.

She giggled. "Really? You would have done that?"

I shrugged. "We would have died. But yes,"

She hugged me harder and I would never get sick of her smell, her skin, her small frame pressing up against me and changing me in every fundamental way.

"I think…I have to go. Snape probably already rounded up the rest of the Death Eaters…" I explained and she looked hurt and smacked me softly on the arm.

"Don't say that! You're not like them. It's not 'the rest'. It's just them. You're different,"

"I guess so. I have you," She smiled wider, and I really wanted to smile too, but I was too upset about having to let her go to do anything of the sort.

"I will owl you. Maybe eventually you could escape and join us," She said hopefully and I finally laughed.

"Yes, a fabulous mission quest with you, Potter and Weasley. I'm sure they'd be thrilled,"

She giggled again. "It wouldn't be that bad…"

"At least it sounds better than weeks or months of running around the country with Snape,"

We both smiled and looked at each other again.

"Fuck, Granger. I'm gonna miss you. You enchanted me. You're evil,"

"Look who's talking! You had me sneaking around the school all year!"

"Yes…I'm gonna miss that too,"

A loud noise downstairs made us jump.

"Fuck. I better go. I'm sorry. I…I'm going to miss you so much," I said, trying to contain all the emotions in. I already told her that I loved her, but I was so desperate for our safety, I didn't think about it. I wasn't sure if I really loved her or not, I hadn't thought about it, but at least my subconscious did.

"Me too. Write if you can when you're safe. And try not to be too long…I…" She cried and I hugged and kissed her one last time.

"I know. You too,"

I pulled away and walked to the staircase. I looked at her one last time.

"Don't go down until you know it's completely Death eater free. Find Potter. And…be safe," I smiled and she nodded.

"You too," Her voice cracked from the tears.

I tried to memorize everything once more and then I finally turned around and left.

I wished I could make her come with me.

I wished I could go with her.

But more than anything, I wished we had one more chance to be alone in the Restricted Section, with nothing but ourselves to worry about. A time and a space to be us.

That night was the moment I realized… Not only was Hermione Granger not ugly at all. Not only was she not boring in the least. She was also completely mine. And I was completely hers.


	12. Epiloge

**Epilogue**

 **Hermione's POV**

We had been walking for hours. Harry, Ron and I were thirsty, exhausted and irritable. The forest was very large and very dark, barely any sunlight passing though the leaves. No one had spoken for over 3 hours and it seemed like it was going to continue that way. Ron had splinched his arm about a week ago and was still too weak to disapparate.

I was carrying the locket around my neck. Ever since we found the dreadful thing, the relationship between Harry and Ron had been particularly strained, so I decided to carry it for an extra shift. My whole body ached, I was dirty and sweaty and in the worst mood of my life, desperate for a gateway. Every minute it felt like we would finally make it out of the woods, but each time we were disappointed. The forests were particularly dangerous, since that was where all the snatchers found their victims, so my itching to get as far away as possible was increasing by the second.

I hadn't seen anyone other than Harry and Ron in months, and it was starting to get to me. I would get jumpy and paranoid at every little noise, so obviously, my heart skipped a beat when Ron started whistling. It was a very beautiful, very nostalgic tune, and it was creating a very strange and dark mood. I sighed heavily, but he didn't seem to notice. I walked for the next half an hour with a burning desire to hex him, but everything went still when a loud, crunching noise came from behind. The three of us stopped in out tracks and turned around, but there was nothing there.

"Snatchers," I whispered

"Could be an animal," Ron tried.

After a very quiet minute, Harry spoke.

"Come on, let's keep walking,"

They both continued with our path but I had a very bad feeling. I heard Ron call my name and I followed them hesitantly. Not five more minutes passed when the same noise was heard. I jumped instantly, my wand at the ready.

"Calm down, Hermione. Here, let me take the locket…" said Harry, but I slapped his hand away.

"No," I kept glancing around, expecting something to charge at us any moment now.

"There's nothing in there! They would have attacked by now," He replied and I shushed him.

More cracking noises. It sounded like something stepping deliberately on dried leaves and branches. My heart was racing and my senses sharpened, and suddenly I noticed something moving among the trees, quite a long distance away.

"There!" I muttered and felt Harry and Ron drawing their wands too.

"What was it?" Ron asked but I shook my head. It was getting darker and harder to see, but then the crunching noise turned into steps and I could see the bushes moving in another direction. They were moving. Harry had seen it too, but my patience was running low so I fired a spell towards the trees.

"Wait! Hermione, we don't know what it is!" Harry yelled. Well, at least we now knew they weren't firing back.

For a few chilling seconds it felt as though it could be someone friendly, but then the steps were closer and a jet of red sparks crashed into the tree next to us.

"Run now!" I cried and then immediately regretted it, I had just announced our next move.

Harry, Ron and I ran as fast as we could down the forest, shooting spells over our shoulder at the general direction of the noise. It felt like they were running towards us too. I ran so fast and hard I began to lose sense of direction, and then Harry and Ron were out of sight. The forest had become unforgivingly dense and I could not see too far ahead of me. I turned around, my veins pumping harder than ever, and saw a dark figure coming towards me, I screamed and ran even faster, afraid to use magic in case it was Harry or Ron.

My legs were giving up on me, I thought I might be caught, but then I stopped hearing footsteps behind me. It gave me the strength I needed to continue running until I saw light ahead of me.

I came to a clearing right on the edge of the forest, but I didn't stop until I was quite sure no one had followed me. I rested my back on a tree, facing the forest in case whatever it was came again, but everything was as quiet as ever, only the ragged sound of my breathing. I tried to calm myself, feeling I might pass out from the shock any second now, but it was hard to stop my heart from beating so hard when Harry and Ron were still in there. I gathered some strength and filled my lungs with air.

"Harry! Ron!" I yelled at the top of my voice, but nothing answered. Then, quite as abruptly as I had found the end of the forest, screams erupted from inside it. There was clearly a fight going down. My heart picked up even faster and I readied myself to go back and help them. But then, as suddenly as it started, all the noise stopped again. It was terrifying to think what this might mean. Had they won? Had they been defeated? Captured? Or…killed?

I swallowed hard and waited for something to happen, anything that might tell me what was I to do, but nothing came. I decided the only thing to do was come back and find them, maybe they were hurt, maybe I could still rescue them…I dropped on my knees to rummage my bag to find some Dittany and have it ready in case they were badly injured. I heard steps and looked up, alarmed.

Ron was standing there, looking shocked and very pale.

"Ron! Are you okay? Where's Harry? What happened?" I stood up so fast I got dizzy.

Ron shook his head but didn't mutter a word. He began walking slowly towards me, but he seemed off. A thousand possibilities ran through my mind. Harry must be dead. Ron must be badly hurt. Maybe he was Imperiused.

"Ron!" I cried again. "What's happened?!" but he only shook his head again and then two figures were walking out of the forest behind him. Harry was first, looking ruffled and scratched but not hurt otherwise. And following him was…

My heart skipped several beats. Every inch of my body got goose-bumps and I felt weightless all of the sudden. I dropped everything to the floor and without thinking about it, began running. I ran like I wasn't tired, I ran like I hadn't been running for months, I ran like no time had passed at all. But mostly, I ran like I couldn't wait a second longer to have Draco Malfoy put his arms around me. I saw a glimpse of a smile before crashing into him, almost knocking him off his feet. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his neck. His scent almost made me cry; it had been so long since I smelled him. We hugged too hard for too long and it was the happiest I had felt in months. Not even the Horcrux around my neck was spoiling this; I didn't even feel like I had it anymore.

We pulled apart and I finally detailed his face. He looked like he had been through hell and back. We smiled at each other for a second, Harry and Ron standing awkwardly at the side. I had told them everything a while back, and while they didn't exactly understand it yet, at least I knew they wouldn't stop us.

"How…" I asked, truly breathlessly.

He shrugged in his usual, Malfoy way. "Snape decided it was time I made myself useful,"

I was perplexed and tried to ask more but he seemed to have read my mind.

"I have been tracking you down for weeks. I thought you were snatchers like the ones I had ran into so many times during that time, and apparently, you thought the same, because all of you almost blow my head off…" He said with a side glance at Harry and Ron. "But then I realized it was just Potter,"

Harry shrugged and I smiled.

"And how are you planning to be useful to us, may I ask?" Ron's voice called bitterly and I shoot him a reproachful stare.

Draco frowned and I could tell he was trying to bite back a response. He proceeded to remove his bag from his shoulders and placed it on the floor and he kneeled before it.

"With this…" He pulled the sword of Gryffindor from his bag.

Harry, Ron and I gaped at it.

"How did you…" Asked Harry with a suspicious glare at Draco.

"Snape. He wanted to deliver it sooner but he had been too busy. I volunteered and after a while he accepted," He offered the sword to Harry.

"Me?" Harry asked and Draco shrugged.

"You. Any of you. Any bloody Gryffindor that can take this off my hands. I don't want this responsibility anymore. I think it knows I'm a Slytherin,"

Harry took it "Thanks, Malfoy," And he returned next to Ron, who was scowling.

Draco turned to face me again and I smiled. He smiled back and brushed some hair behind my ear.

"You look like hell, Granger," He said in his usual tone.

"Yes, and you look absolutely dashing," I replied, still smiling. He combed his hair with his hand.

"I know,"

"Hermione…" said Harry, carefully trying not to interrupt, "Can you give us the locket? I want to get this over with," I could sense the excitement in his voice.

"I guess this means I'm officially in your side," Draco said as he went to remove the locket form my neck.

I felt the warmth I had missed so much. My mind was suddenly full of flashbacks to the Room of Requirement.

"You were always on my side, Draco."

My lips found his. Just as I had found him back at Hogwarts. Just as he had found me now.

 _The end._


End file.
